Two things I'm not happy about this Monday morning....
THIS PILE...
...which happens to be bills...today's the day.
I cannot wait another hour, they MUST be paid...or else...
AND THIS...
Notice the inspection date?? Expired January 31, 2010.
That was yesterday.
She will be inspected tomorrow morning...until then, she will be extra careful to follow every Speed limit sign, every road rule and anything else that will cause her to blend in to her environment.
So sorry, Mr. Copper...I promise I'll try not to do it again.
These two annoying tasks creep up on me ALL the time. I confess I am not very good at doing the things I hate on time. I am a procrastinator at heart. I procrastinate what I hate...and sometimes even what I love. BUT...I DO get them done. As you can see, some completely fall off my radar until I know I'm in trouble....like the above.
But really...I DO have good reasons for feeding the procrastinator lurking inside me. Namely, it's the lack of a steady income. You simply cannot pay your piles of bills or send your car to Mr. Mechanic if your check cannot back up the funds. You can't...
This has become the way of life around here for years. I can't say I love it or that I'm used to it, even after 12 years. But, it is a fact of my circumstances, so I've learned to pray alot and wait on a plan. I've learned to STRETCHHH a dollar and am continually mastering the art of being patient. It's why I say no to things we don't need to have or do. It's why we are satisfied without the latest trinket...and extremely grateful for what we do have.
This weekend we were blessed by two different sources who had NO idea how empty my bank account was. I was sweating bullets - not going to lie. I did alot of praying last week...alot of wondering when I would get some relief and answers. I struggled not to complain...at least not outloud. In my heart many a question was whispered...Why a dead-end at every job search? Why is there no relief after all this time? Why do I still ask why? Why is it still so hard?
Can't say I heard answers...but the incredible gifts of generousity were from His hand, I have no doubt. I am constantly checking myself..making sure I haven't missed a cue or headed down a wrong path and ended up tracking my own two feet instead of God's footprints. As He has for so long, He is continually reminding me to stay calm, be diligent and wait on Him.
I don't want to.
But I will.
Thank you, Father...as you promised generations ago, you have supplied all of our needs.
And that is enough.
"And my God will meet all your needs..."
Phil. 4:19
4 comments:
I'm probably your opposite...I'm not typically a procrastinator. Which is why it was devastating to me that just last week I replaced my car registration sticker that had expired 12/2009. It happens to us all!
Here in the uk our car tax is now all computerised and so they know even before they see it that it is overdue!!!
I have been married for 34 years on Sunday and for most of that time our faith has been stretched in the area of finances. Especially when my husband gave up his career to go to Bible college in 2001. But God came up trumps continually...even at times when it was a very close shave! He is our provider and I pray that this will continue to be your experience and that even more than that, He will bless you abundantly.
For years I had a little peice of paper taped to the dashboard of my car, that said "God always provides"...and I kept it there, because it was a reminder for the all the times I found myself 'holding my breath', to look back and remember all the times He had. We just sold that car (for pennies, we ran it to the ground), but we kept the promise on the heart paper--and in our hearts.
I can only imagine how especially easy it would be for you to host a big old fat pity party. And that is why I especially am inspired by your choices NOT to (oh, I'm sure you occassionally give in. You are human, right?!?).
Life just is not fair. Mom always told me that, and when I was 13 I rolled my eyes, b/c I thought I was entitled to better treatment than unfairness. But we live on this side of Heaven where, unfortunately, it is a fact of life.But the BEST is YET to come!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!
Keep on keeping on, my friend. You are a beautiful, real and inspiring woman.
Thank you, ladies...Jeane, I have a 13 yr old - I get it! My prayer is that she learns she is not entitled NOW...as will her brothers. God is faithful, that I do not question...He shows up around every corner of my home as a reminder.
Thanks for your kind words...
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