"I hold on to You for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post..." Psalm 63
Monday, February 1, 2010
Two things I hate and One that I love...
Two things I'm not happy about this Monday morning....
...which happens to be bills...today's the day.
I cannot wait another hour, they MUST be paid...or else...
Notice the inspection date?? Expired January 31, 2010.
That was yesterday.
She will be inspected tomorrow morning...until then, she will be extra careful to follow every Speed limit sign, every road rule and anything else that will cause her to blend in to her environment.
So sorry, Mr. Copper...I promise I'll try not to do it again.
These two annoying tasks creep up on me ALL the time. I confess I am not very good at doing the things I hate on time. I am a procrastinator at heart. I procrastinate what I hate...and sometimes even what I love. BUT...I DO get them done. As you can see, some completely fall off my radar until I know I'm in trouble....like the above.
But really...I DO have good reasons for feeding the procrastinator lurking inside me. Namely, it's the lack of a steady income. You simply cannot pay your piles of bills or send your car to Mr. Mechanic if your check cannot back up the funds. You can't...
This has become the way of life around here for years. I can't say I love it or that I'm used to it, even after 12 years. But, it is a fact of my circumstances, so I've learned to pray alot and wait on a plan. I've learned to STRETCHHH a dollar and am continually mastering the art of being patient. It's why I say no to things we don't need to have or do. It's why we are satisfied without the latest trinket...and extremely grateful for what we do have.
This weekend we were blessed by two different sources who had NO idea how empty my bank account was. I was sweating bullets - not going to lie. I did alot of praying last week...alot of wondering when I would get some relief and answers. I struggled not to complain...at least not outloud. In my heart many a question was whispered...Why a dead-end at every job search? Why is there no relief after all this time? Why do I still ask why? Why is it still so hard?
Can't say I heard answers...but the incredible gifts of generousity were from His hand, I have no doubt. I am constantly checking myself..making sure I haven't missed a cue or headed down a wrong path and ended up tracking my own two feet instead of God's footprints. As He has for so long, He is continually reminding me to stay calm, be diligent and wait on Him.
I don't want to.
But I will.
Thank you, Father...as you promised generations ago, you have supplied all of our needs.