"I hold on to You for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post..." Psalm 63

Friday, July 31, 2009

Officially packed...ready to roll.

I've been packing all day it seems, for a week in Ocean City with my WHOLE family. All 13 of us are packing into a 3rd floor condo for the next 7 days. My sister and I grew up faithfully vacationing in a different spot every summer. I remember my dad pouring over AAA books for just the right place...and then just the right activities when we get there. We have great memories of some fun vacations, and dad continues to see that this tradition continues on with the 9 grandchildren, too. (Not the easiest thing to find something that the 21 yr old and the 7 yr old will BOTH enjoy...but the beach is ageless, so I think we'll do ok!)
My problem is trying to get this...

and this...

to fit into this...

The plan was to have it all packed in the car before the caravan arrives at my house in the morning, but my head hurts trying to figure out how to fit it all into the "Fit". (First vacation we've tried to pack four growing bodies AND the stuff we all accumulate and think we NEED to take with us into a little cube of a Honda Fit!)
Here's some random pics of the last few hours of trying to ignore the task ahead...

Phase 10 with Nick. (I won...he didn't.)

Emma- snapping pictures of herself...in true 12 year old fashion!

Alex's recent markings...graduation, ear piercings, "tats"....alot of expressing oneself in one summer! (But, as he says, "It's not rebellion, mom, it's just something I've always wanted to do.") We'll see if he's still singing that song when he's 40!

I'm looking forward to a week with my family and a bit of alone time on the beach somewhere. I'm not a fan, like I used to be, of laying in the sun on the beach (Tammi and I used to slather BABY OIL all over us to ATTRACT as many UV rays as possible at one time. The thought of the oil/sand combo is so much less appealing now. Not to mention I'm beginning to see the results of those years in the mirror.) but there's something about the majesty of the ocean that gets me every time. I'm looking forward to being overwhelmed by its vastness again and stealing away alone to revel in the wonder of God's creative Hand...and listen.
"Cease striving and know that I am God."
Ps 46:10
The timing is perfect. I'm in need of some time with my kids away from Lancaster, and some time with the Lord, away from all distractions. I have some decisions to make...alot of questions to answer. My Bible and my journal are packed, and I'm ready!
"You make known to me the path of life,
You fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
Ps 16:11

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Something new while I wait...

What's new and why am I waiting, you ask?
For starters, you're reading my first post on this blog site...it's my first personal blog-my business's blog is at a current standstill:

If you follow the shop's blog, you know that it's been stuck on a post from July 11th! And, if you read it, you'll know why...
AND, you'll also understand what I am waiting for...

Waiting seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. Unexpectedly, I often seem to find myself in the old familiar waiting room of unanswered questions and unknown futures. (I won't get into the details of all of that on my first post...wouldn't want to scare any newbies away!) This time it is another pretty big one...the future of my business is at stake. As usual, though, the waiting -while somewhat excruciating and seemingly unending, is forcing me to choose quiet and stillness. To ask alot of questions, and do alot of listening.

(**I need to post a disclaimer here... I honestly just searched Google for the word "waiting"...thinking perhaps I'd find a great picture of a woman "waiting" to post here. While I did NOT find a woman waiting, I DID find these men who are putting their waiting time to interesting use. Please forgive me for not resisting the temptation to post them...while random, they totally made me laugh outloud!)

I'm sorry...I had to do it.
I hope I am being a bit more ladylike while I wait...

Anyway, while I have some extra time on my hands I thought it a great time to start a new blog as I'm missing updating the blog at the shop. I also thought I'd like a venue where I could be a little freer to be open and just be "me" without offending a customer who does not have an affection for my faith as I do. I make no excuses here...it's just who I am, but in a business setting I'm slightly less able to be so free.

I hope to spend a little time babbling about what I'm learning from day to day- what the Lord is teaching me in my waiting room, and share the joy of stepping OUT of the waiting room when the time comes, too. I'm sure my children will appear frequently upon these pages, as they seem to appear frequently over my shoulder while I type (and frankly anywhere else in the house I go, too!) I wouldn't choose it to be any other way...I kind of like them!

So let me end this post at the beginning....
One day we were a family of five....and unexpectantly, the next day our count was four. The ending of a ten year marriage suddenly began the BEGINNING of a very special bonding of our little family of four that I would not change, even if I could turn back the clock. Don't get me wrong...I NEVER expected to be here...never wanted to be, but in retrospect BEING here gave me new life. And gave my children a chance to have a mom who is whole.

While whole in spirit, I am on an unending quest to be consumed daily by the One who gives me breath each morning and strength to get through whatever craziness lies ahead. I don't expect to ever really have it all down pat...don't expect to ever attain all that I reach for until the day I enter eternity's gates. But, I've found strength and joy in the reaching and I pray the three who watch behind me will as a result find IT too.

They are the reason I got myself up off the floor of despair and rejection and the reason I run to the cross each day for the Grace to raise them alone. They are the reason I sit in the waiting room, waiting for direction. They make me push myself beyond what I'm able, and they make me lie down and rest in the Strong arms that provide me with answers...they make me realize I cannot do this life-thing alone. And they remind me with their ever-gazing eyes that they are watching, seeing all that I do, hearing all that I say...

I can't give them everything,
but I can give them my faith...they must take it for their own,
but they will want it only if mine is real....
They are the reason we call ourself a family.
And they are the ones who make it ALL worthwhile.

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