Around every corner...

there is a mess.

I didn't realize how the puppy has taken OVER this house...

but maybe she has..

{I KNOW, she looks so innocent, doesn't she?!}

But seriously...

why must one dog have so many toys

IN 

EVERY 

ROOM

sun room

living room

laundry room

This keeps her off the furniture...

apparently when all else fails, a little fear of loud noises can be used to your advantage

She's even started a collection of sticks on the back porch

I KNOW, 

she still looks so innocent, doesn't she?

But really, 

you have to watch your stuff around here. 

Scarlett's favorite chews this week:

{old shoe, soda bottle, peach tea cap, tennis ball, "puppy-proof" toy steering wheel}

Emma discovered Scarlett chewing her small selection of flip flops

 and quickly whisked them away

And, just to be safe, Scarlett now resides behind this gate when no one is watching her...

She really is a lot of fun to have around the house

and you can't help but laugh at her...

{Come on...I KNOW you just laughed!}

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
Charlie Chaplin

Spring giveaway...

I already admitted that I may or may not have addictive tenancies towards Pinterest.  

{Doesn't that sound so much better than actually admitting the obvious?!}

So this morning {when I accidently gave in to the craving} I opened up to find this

and was pleasantly surprised to find it was part of a giveaway over at 

Inspired by Charm

It snowed here yesterday, and although it looks beautiful this morning

a bucket full of tulips hanging on my front door would be a much more welcome sight...

So I entered to win it...

and you can too.

And if on some rotten luck you or I don't win,

we can purchase our own bucket of tulips on etsy at

EverBloomingOriginal

Go check out the giveaway here...and if you win, let me know!

Soap and Pinsomnia...

I was just introduced to a website.  

It may or may not have been around for a while

 and perhaps I am behind the times...

nevertheless, 

I like it

and I think I will be using it often...

We'll be introducing it to our youth tomorrow night

in hopes that they, too, will use it

It's a Bible reading tool-

and we all need tools...

because sometimes we just get stuck in a rut

and need a little kick start.

SO check it out...

you might like it, too.

It's called SOAP

{but not this kind}

It's an acronym...

S-Scripture

O-Observation

A-Application

P-Prayer

 Basically it's an online outlet to take notes and record your thoughts as you read through the Scriptures.  

It's private, no one else reads your thoughts.  Check it out here...you might like it.

Or read about it here, it explains it better than I just did!

...

{Random transition}

I could very easily become addicted to Pinterest

It happens quite innocently.  

You find a recipe you want to save

you pin it to your board

and then
JUST LIKE THAT

you

are

 hooked

because now you are looking at the recipe that someone ELSE pinned

and that looks good, too.

So you pin that one...

and the one under it

and the one on your friend's page....

You didn't mean for it to happen...

but it did..

exactly...

But, in my own defense, 

my family needs to try this

{zucchini boats}

and this

{bloomin onion}

and this

{Chipotle Burrito Bowl}

And thanks to Pinterest, 

they can...

This is what's up...

{Nick, swearing into the Marines}

Scarlett is getting bigger by the second

and badd-er by the minute.

my house is infested with doggie-discipline books

one on barking

one on submission

one on what's going through her head

one on how to stay the course and not throw in the towel

...and a schedule for puppy school at PetSmart

Yesterday she ate a shoe lace and a pair of sweatpants and peed on the floor...

but only because ONE of us {a-hem, Nick}

forgot she can't be alone for very long and turned his back-

they are BOTH on probation.

Alex is continuing to seek direction for his future,

Emma just attended a friend's "Quinceanera",

which was new to us and an interesting taste of her friend's culture...

{also, like a small wedding-ish celebration that my budget is glad we don't participate in.}

Last week it got warm enough outside to stand over this

It tasted like summer...

Even though when I turned around,

it looked nothing at all like summer.

It's an interesting thing that is happening over here...

we're busy, 

and yet, not...

some of the busyness is just in enjoying each other's presence

and reveling in the here and now...

{that's my perspective, the kids might just say they're sick of being together}

For Christmas, my parents' gift to the whole family was this

which will be happening in less than a month...

I don't think I've ever been so ready to get out of Dodge as I am now.

I'm craving warm sun

ocean breeze

maid service

food prepared by a chef 

{who's name tag does not spell out T-e-r-r-i}

But mostly, I'm just excited for all 13 of us to be together for a week....

where it's warm..

The media is trying pretty hard to put a damper on my enthusiasm.

Every day it seems there's a Cruise liner in the spotlight...

today's news went like this:

"3 Cruise Ships Disinfected After Norovirus"

Seriously,

knock it off!

No gastrointestinal illness will slow me down..

Not even the threat of vomiting, diahrrea or nausea will damper my enthusiasm..

No ship run aground will deter me from collecting my tankini and flip flops off the closet floor..

So just enough already..

if you don't have something nice to print, 

then just don't print anything, okay?

"It isn't that life ashore is distasteful to me. But life at sea is better."
-Sir Francis Drake

{Here, here, Sir Drake}

Perspective...

It's cold outside...

Snow has fallen...

There's no Lacrosse game today...

And we're here...

peacefully stranded at home by the fire...

At least from where I SIT that is my perspective on the situation.

To my left, this is happening...

...and she is thinking otherwise...

She's tired of being home 

and

SURPRISE! 

would rather go to the mall...

To my right, THIS is happening

he is in his own contented-obliviousness

Behind me....

way down that way, where Scarlett is snoring around the corner

sweet, sweet silence...

Speaking of Scarlett...

This happened this morning

In the window of the sunroom, 

a burst of color is feasting

Sadly, Alex still had to work today-
No rest for drummers, apparently...


This is the kind of day mothers dream of...

"We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet,

 to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient.

 It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring, 

lightheartedness, and love, we will create abundance and joy

 for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile."

Deepak Chopra

{*Deepak Chopra is some kind of weird dude...I just googled him.  I like this quote-but may not agree with one other thing he has to say...just putting that out there!}

Resolve...and living

These next months are before me 

and in the back of my mind always...

They are a tribute to the fact that life is an endless cycle.

We birth,

we nurture,

we teach,

we empower,

we push forward...

and eventually {all too soon} we release completely.

While these thoughts provoke ache in a mother's heart,

they are reality.

They do not wait until we are ready...

because, truly..

when

would we be ready?

Move forward,

that is what we do...

with steps more deliberate 

and 

eyes open a bit wider.

I don't want to miss this moment...

all too soon it will be gone, too.

And it still surprises me when I see him walk in front of me 

in seemingly slow motion..

my eye, like a lens, capturing the sight of him in slow motion...

stashed away, 

filed for a later day when the sight of him is needed.

There is temptation to let the melancholy seep in

to give in to the lure of discontentment.

But such is not for me

it is not for me to wish away today

for the fear of what comes tomorrow.

It is mine to live today

  freely

fully

with contentment

and joy

Resolved to be present...

There are three children in this house today...

not one who has enlisted allegiance to his future...

There are three...

and they are counting on my presence to show up to live today.

"Don't lose your grip on Love and Loyalty. 
   Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.
Earn a reputation for living well 
   in God's eyes and the eyes of the people. 

  Trust God from the bottom of your heart; 
   don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; 

   he's the one who will keep you on track."

Prov. 3

Tomorrow...when the time comes...

It happens tomorrow.  

3:30 pm.

I'm not ready...

but I don't imagine there will come a day when I actually will be.

Tomorrow the process begins...

it will be the first of many steps

But, barring a miracle a drastic change,

once this first step is taken,

there is no turning back.

I've known for months this day was coming

it's been looming in the distance,

just where I like it-

the distance.

While my words and my resolve say one thing...

my mother-heart screams another.

I'm feeling a little like I did on this day:

I can remember the emotion of it like it was yesterday.

It was so right and so good...

and at the same time heart-wrenching.

I'm feeling a little like that.

But the thing is, I'm like 6 months early-

Nick isn't going anywhere for a while.

He still has school to finish up...

We have a family cruise to enjoy...

There's a lot of living to do between 

now

and 

THEN...

But nonetheless...

I'm feeling it deep.

And at a moment's notice,

tears threaten.

So tomorrow,

it's time to regroup,

to eat the bread of Thankfulness

and 

TRUST one more time.

I wish to give a little speech 

to put words to the pride I feel in him..

but it's more likely I will be involuntarily silenced...

and it's probably for the best.

There is time to say those things...

and they will be said.

Tomorrow is for that thing that every mother must inevitably do..

stand beside your child as he follows his heart

one hand open

the other one gently pushing forward...

Tomorrow...

when the time comes...

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

Matthew 6:34

2012...Back in business

My computer is back! 

She's had a miraculous recovery that cannot be explained...

Her unfortunate death happened about three months ago  

And it's been annoying and frustrating to use the old house computer-so I stayed away as much as possible.

BUT...just the other day a friend said he would take a look at her to see if perhaps he could just start all over and rebuild her, brand new.

It took him about 5.5 seconds because when he pushed the ON button

she came ON...

Even though she didn't sputter or cough any of the {many} times I had tried to resuscitate her before...

Nor did she even blink the time the Best Buy Geek Squad tried to jump start her. 

It's beyond me...I have no idea why she laid to rest those 3 months and now is working just fine...

but I'll take it.

While I've been gone a few things have happened around here

like this:

Scarlett came to live with us the day after Christmas...

we kind of like her

a lot.

She's changed our schedules and our routines

but in a good way.

She likes to play

and chew...

{Pretty sure there's a spot waiting for us at the local Puppy Academy}

We're finally back in the swing of things after the holidays.

I may or may not have been cheering when the kids went back to school on Monday...

It was time to get back to normal, for sure.

*2012*

It's a NEW YEAR

and as I reflected on the passing of 2011, I was able to see, with deep gratitude, 

a year that was filled with the blessing of family.

I look forward- to all that 2012 will hold for our family

and all I see is 

change

and 

uncertainty

I will graduate another son this year...

Nick

and he has his sights on 

the Marines...

I don't need to spell out all of the things that go through a mother's heart when she hears these words.

All I know for sure is that

 I have held my children close through these years,

 and I do not live with regrets...

And so I can already see that there will be a daily need to 

TRUST hard

throughout this year.

It is inevitable

our children grow up

and out

it's what we raise them to do...

Speaking of growing OUT...

Alex

has been looking at apartments with his friends...

and I imagine at some point this year, they will find the one they're searching for

and he'll be moving out on his own

It is inevitable

our children grow up

and out

it's what we raise them to do...

but are we ever really prepared for how quickly 

it sneaks up on us?

Yeah...

When I asked the LORD to give me a word to dwell on this year,

you can imagine I was not surprised to hear that the word of the year is

TRUST

I'm pretty sure there will be some tough days this year for our family...

so many changes.

But I'm resolved to take them in stride and remember that 

we've done tough days before

and we got through them the same way we'll get through these...

by learning to 

TRUST

In the meantime I am soaking in every minute that I have with my children all together under one roof.

If I'm lucky, the four of us gather around the same dinner table once or twice a week...

I told them last night, that there is no greater gift they could give me than to sit and eat together-

doesn't matter if it's steak or PB&J, as long as all four of us are around the same table...

{Some smart-alec blurted out, "That's good, mom, cause we weren't planning on buying any gifts!"}

RUDE!

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; 

   don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; 

   he's the one who will keep you on track.

Don't assume that you know it all. 

   Run to God! Run from evil!

Your body will glow with health, 

   your very bones will vibrate with life!

Honor God with everything you own..."

Proverbs 3 

It happens every year..

this feeling I get that makes me want to rebel.

I feel it every year...

Right about the time we start gathering our recipes for Thanksgiving dinner,

the retail megaphones start blurting out all the things we need to accumulate to be 

happy

normal

hip

cool

Trees are cut,

 lights are strung,

 music about a baby and a Santa, blares

And we are brainwashed into thinking that we deserve to make 

wish lists

"Who decided that on Jesus birthday WE should receive gifts to people who are not in need?"

I am not in need

my children are not in need

my family is not in need

my friends are not in need...

We are in want

but not in need.

I have met people in great need this year

some who are homeless

some who are alone

some who really and truly have next to nothing

some who have suffered through deaths...

They are the ones who deserve to make lists...

And when I read THIS this morning

and see the tiny children growing up so...right...

I regret that I have not always felt this way...

that it is only in the last decade of years or so

that my eyes have slowly shifted off my own household

and on to another's.

My children have not always known a mom who thinks to bless outside our home before we bless those inside it.  I can only trust that the mom they remember is the one of their teenage years...

I trust they remember me, not as the one who took away their Christmas

but the one who showed them Christmas...

better late than never...

I'm still figuring it all out

how to give beyond what I can 

but not feel the burden to do everything all at one time 

Who decided that Christmas was the one time of year that we feel all 

CHRISTmasy and giving

and the rest of the year we don't?

What do we really need this year?

I know the answer to that for my own family...

and it's not popular

and it seems all Scroogey

but it's not...

It's Jesus

and only Jesus.

This is my journey...not meant to condemn or judge another's 

it's putting down thoughts on a page

and letting the words fall as they may..

So that I remember..

so that my children pick up where I left off someday...

Just one...

The house is quiet and still

I sit in the comfort of my own four walls

and occasionally fill my cup of coffee 

or indulge in a second bowl of cereal...

because I can.

I am captivated and mesmerized by the book on my lap

it is breaking me

causing tears to fall with almost every page...

the words, written in fine print, are as if in BOLD

They are challenging me and convicting me

they are words that read as if extracted from my own thoughts...

but they are being lived out by someone else,

while I sit in comfort and read them.

I'm not sure I've ever read a book that has cut me deeper

Day after day, as I find time to read on,

as I underline and trace the words into my heart,

I am humbled...

I am not who I want to be.

I'm reading things like this:

"I am living in the midst of the uncertainty and risk, amid things that can and do bring physical destruction, because I am running from things that can destroy my soul: complacency, comfort, and ignorance.  I am much more terrified of living a comfortable life in a self-serving society and failing to follow Jesus than I am of any illness or tragedy."

and this:

"The truth is that if only 8% of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics {of needy, starving children} left.  This is the truth.  I have the freedom to believe it.  The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it.  The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know...I am responsible."

and this:

"In so many places, we sit in church and talk about compassion, unimaginable love, revival.  

And then an hour later, we are STILL sitting there talking about it..."

And God has this to say to me:

"The smallness you feel comes from within you.  

Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way.  

I'm speaking as plainly as I can with great affection.  

Open up your lives. 

 Live openly and expansively!"

II Corinthians 6:10

And even though I KNOW...

the answer is not to fly to Africa and leave the ones He's called me to love here and now..

I still ask...

What do you want from me?  

I am not to take lightly the fact that the words in this book break me.

  Breaking without action = nothing {NO GOOD THING}

As the BOLD letters form words that speak,

He whispers with them...

"choose one today"

He calls me to one

One at a time...here

And it's not a coincidence that just "one" stood in front of me yesterday...

she thanked me 

she stood carrying tiny life inside of her...

and she chose it

because one day...weeks ago...

she took a test that said "Positive"

and sat wide-eyed with fear

listening to Jesus 

use my mouth 

to form words that whispered hope to "one".

I had almost forgotten about her in the crowd of many since...

but she returned, 

this time with a smile

and 

a hug....

and said

Thank you for helping me save my baby.

I almost cried as she hugged me

because the hug was from Him...

He needed me to know that there's work to be done right where I am

and He's in it

and He's doing it..

It is not enough...

there are many more who need to be the next "one"..

I have hope that a day will come when I return to a place that stole part of my heart..

when what I know HERE will help "one" THERE...

But today,

I'm only given "one"...

I pray I will see her and not pass her by....

{I'm reading this:}

"I knew that I was here just to love...

and the rest I would figure out in time"