"I hold on to You for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post..." Psalm 63

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Tomorrow...when the time comes...

It happens tomorrow.  
3:30 pm.
I'm not ready...
but I don't imagine there will come a day when I actually will be.

Tomorrow the process begins...
it will be the first of many steps
But, barring a miracle a drastic change,
once this first step is taken,
there is no turning back.

I've known for months this day was coming
it's been looming in the distance,
just where I like it-
the distance.

While my words and my resolve say one thing...
my mother-heart screams another.

I'm feeling a little like I did on this day:
I can remember the emotion of it like it was yesterday.
It was so right and so good...
and at the same time heart-wrenching.

I'm feeling a little like that.

But the thing is, I'm like 6 months early-
Nick isn't going anywhere for a while.
He still has school to finish up...
We have a family cruise to enjoy...
There's a lot of living to do between 

But nonetheless...
I'm feeling it deep.

And at a moment's notice,
tears threaten.

So tomorrow,
it's time to regroup,
to eat the bread of Thankfulness
TRUST one more time.

I wish to give a little speech 
to put words to the pride I feel in him..
but it's more likely I will be involuntarily silenced...
and it's probably for the best.

There is time to say those things...
and they will be said.

Tomorrow is for that thing that every mother must inevitably do..
stand beside your child as he follows his heart
one hand open
the other one gently pushing forward...

when the time comes...

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Matthew 6:34


Mrs.Rabe said...

I have tears, Terri...

The Marines...it's amazing how God works to lead our kids in paths that we wouldn't choose for them!

Praying for you!

lindsey said...

Praying for you x

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