Tomorrow...when the time comes...

It happens tomorrow.  

3:30 pm.

I'm not ready...

but I don't imagine there will come a day when I actually will be.

Tomorrow the process begins...

it will be the first of many steps

But, barring a miracle a drastic change,

once this first step is taken,

there is no turning back.

I've known for months this day was coming

it's been looming in the distance,

just where I like it-

the distance.

While my words and my resolve say one thing...

my mother-heart screams another.

I'm feeling a little like I did on this day:

I can remember the emotion of it like it was yesterday.

It was so right and so good...

and at the same time heart-wrenching.

I'm feeling a little like that.

But the thing is, I'm like 6 months early-

Nick isn't going anywhere for a while.

He still has school to finish up...

We have a family cruise to enjoy...

There's a lot of living to do between 

now

and 

THEN...

But nonetheless...

I'm feeling it deep.

And at a moment's notice,

tears threaten.

So tomorrow,

it's time to regroup,

to eat the bread of Thankfulness

and 

TRUST one more time.

I wish to give a little speech 

to put words to the pride I feel in him..

but it's more likely I will be involuntarily silenced...

and it's probably for the best.

There is time to say those things...

and they will be said.

Tomorrow is for that thing that every mother must inevitably do..

stand beside your child as he follows his heart

one hand open

the other one gently pushing forward...

Tomorrow...

when the time comes...

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

Matthew 6:34