Resolve...and living

These next months are before me 

and in the back of my mind always...

They are a tribute to the fact that life is an endless cycle.

We birth,

we nurture,

we teach,

we empower,

we push forward...

and eventually {all too soon} we release completely.

While these thoughts provoke ache in a mother's heart,

they are reality.

They do not wait until we are ready...

because, truly..

when

would we be ready?

Move forward,

that is what we do...

with steps more deliberate 

and 

eyes open a bit wider.

I don't want to miss this moment...

all too soon it will be gone, too.

And it still surprises me when I see him walk in front of me 

in seemingly slow motion..

my eye, like a lens, capturing the sight of him in slow motion...

stashed away, 

filed for a later day when the sight of him is needed.

There is temptation to let the melancholy seep in

to give in to the lure of discontentment.

But such is not for me

it is not for me to wish away today

for the fear of what comes tomorrow.

It is mine to live today

  freely

fully

with contentment

and joy

Resolved to be present...

There are three children in this house today...

not one who has enlisted allegiance to his future...

There are three...

and they are counting on my presence to show up to live today.

"Don't lose your grip on Love and Loyalty. 
   Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.
Earn a reputation for living well 
   in God's eyes and the eyes of the people. 

  Trust God from the bottom of your heart; 
   don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; 

   he's the one who will keep you on track."

Prov. 3

2012...Back in business

My computer is back! 

She's had a miraculous recovery that cannot be explained...

Her unfortunate death happened about three months ago  

And it's been annoying and frustrating to use the old house computer-so I stayed away as much as possible.

BUT...just the other day a friend said he would take a look at her to see if perhaps he could just start all over and rebuild her, brand new.

It took him about 5.5 seconds because when he pushed the ON button

she came ON...

Even though she didn't sputter or cough any of the {many} times I had tried to resuscitate her before...

Nor did she even blink the time the Best Buy Geek Squad tried to jump start her. 

It's beyond me...I have no idea why she laid to rest those 3 months and now is working just fine...

but I'll take it.

While I've been gone a few things have happened around here

like this:

Scarlett came to live with us the day after Christmas...

we kind of like her

a lot.

She's changed our schedules and our routines

but in a good way.

She likes to play

and chew...

{Pretty sure there's a spot waiting for us at the local Puppy Academy}

We're finally back in the swing of things after the holidays.

I may or may not have been cheering when the kids went back to school on Monday...

It was time to get back to normal, for sure.

*2012*

It's a NEW YEAR

and as I reflected on the passing of 2011, I was able to see, with deep gratitude, 

a year that was filled with the blessing of family.

I look forward- to all that 2012 will hold for our family

and all I see is 

change

and 

uncertainty

I will graduate another son this year...

Nick

and he has his sights on 

the Marines...

I don't need to spell out all of the things that go through a mother's heart when she hears these words.

All I know for sure is that

 I have held my children close through these years,

 and I do not live with regrets...

And so I can already see that there will be a daily need to 

TRUST hard

throughout this year.

It is inevitable

our children grow up

and out

it's what we raise them to do...

Speaking of growing OUT...

Alex

has been looking at apartments with his friends...

and I imagine at some point this year, they will find the one they're searching for

and he'll be moving out on his own

It is inevitable

our children grow up

and out

it's what we raise them to do...

but are we ever really prepared for how quickly 

it sneaks up on us?

Yeah...

When I asked the LORD to give me a word to dwell on this year,

you can imagine I was not surprised to hear that the word of the year is

TRUST

I'm pretty sure there will be some tough days this year for our family...

so many changes.

But I'm resolved to take them in stride and remember that 

we've done tough days before

and we got through them the same way we'll get through these...

by learning to 

TRUST

In the meantime I am soaking in every minute that I have with my children all together under one roof.

If I'm lucky, the four of us gather around the same dinner table once or twice a week...

I told them last night, that there is no greater gift they could give me than to sit and eat together-

doesn't matter if it's steak or PB&J, as long as all four of us are around the same table...

{Some smart-alec blurted out, "That's good, mom, cause we weren't planning on buying any gifts!"}

RUDE!

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; 

   don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; 

   he's the one who will keep you on track.

Don't assume that you know it all. 

   Run to God! Run from evil!

Your body will glow with health, 

   your very bones will vibrate with life!

Honor God with everything you own..."

Proverbs 3