In the stillness of the morning...

I sit here again this morning...

In the stillness

the quiet of a household still in slumber

It is not unlike other mornings I have sat here, 

but this morning holds a new chapter ready to unfurl.

  

It involves change and transition 

and lots of unknowns.

It is part anticipation 

part mourning

part resolution

and 

part awakening.

This morning marks the end of another school year

and the beginning of another summer together.

But it is a different summer already

There are children with jobs

schedules to coordinate

and somewhere in the midst of it all I search to find a time to 

connect 

and 

gather together.

And I recognize that if I don't make it happen

it will not.

So there's this on the door

waiting for everyone to input their 

work schedules

and

social schedules

And I think perhaps I may need to schedule family dinners, too.

But one works in the morning, 

while the other works in the evening

and the third 

who doesn't work at all

 has already decided that summer will be horrible

if she doesn't have a social calendar of her own 

And then there is me.

My relished quiet time has taken on a shorter life-span

It will require my

 getting up earlier

staying on task

and

intentionality

And come next week all of this changes...

And I will need to learn time management

and plan ahead

and flexibility

Because

I finally have a glimmer of an answer to the questions I've asked for so long...

"What do You want from me?"

"What do you want me to do with what You've given me?"

"How do I take what You've placed in me and 

use it to help support my family?"

And while I wanted answers

longed deeply for them

the answers involve change

and 

change is hard.  

But it's a good hard.

I've spent almost two years in a volunteer position

and I've learned things about myself I didn't know were there.

And somehow

at just the right time

there was a need to create a new PAID position

that has been handed to me.

And because God's hand is all over it, 

I know the time is right

and it is good.

And I am humbled by 

His kindness

His timing

and

His continued provision

It will take time to adjust around here

and we will have to pull together 

to remain together

But the One who orchestrated it

will surely keep it together...

of this I am sure.

And so, this morning, in the stillness

I am ever aware of His continued goodness to my children and I.

And I anticipate how He will use me here

as well as there

The title I wear HERE remains first and foremost...

it is constant

and priority.

But there's a new title,

"Client Advocate"

and because I see it as a gift given,

I am grateful

and 

humbled

and excited to see it all unfold...

There are young mothers to love on

babies to help save

LIFE to affirm...

And who doesn't like that their NEW JOB is really their OLD JOB, but with a paycheck...

And, that their first day of work isn't really their first day of work

and no butterflies are involved...

It is good...

"Open your mouth and taste, 

open your eyes and see—
         how good God is.    Blessed are you who run to him." 

Psalm 34:8-10

In this morning stillness

my thoughts run far

and my need to be intentional is firm 

it will take the whole family to make it work well...

but I think we are all up to the challenge.

"There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart..."

Celia Thaxter