"I hold on to You for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post..." Psalm 63

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

In the stillness of the morning...

I sit here again this morning...

In the stillness
the quiet of a household still in slumber
It is not unlike other mornings I have sat here, 
but this morning holds a new chapter ready to unfurl.
  
It involves change and transition 
and lots of unknowns.
It is part anticipation 
part mourning
part resolution
and 
part awakening.

This morning marks the end of another school year
and the beginning of another summer together.
But it is a different summer already
There are children with jobs
schedules to coordinate
and somewhere in the midst of it all I search to find a time to 
connect 
and 
gather together.

And I recognize that if I don't make it happen
it will not.

So there's this on the door
waiting for everyone to input their 
work schedules
and
social schedules

And I think perhaps I may need to schedule family dinners, too.
But one works in the morning, 
while the other works in the evening
and the third 
who doesn't work at all
 has already decided that summer will be horrible
if she doesn't have a social calendar of her own 

And then there is me.
My relished quiet time has taken on a shorter life-span
It will require my
 getting up earlier
staying on task
and
intentionality

And come next week all of this changes...
And I will need to learn time management
and plan ahead
and flexibility
Because
I finally have a glimmer of an answer to the questions I've asked for so long...
"What do You want from me?"
"What do you want me to do with what You've given me?"
"How do I take what You've placed in me and 
use it to help support my family?"

And while I wanted answers
longed deeply for them
the answers involve change
and 
change is hard.  
But it's a good hard.

I've spent almost two years in a volunteer position
and I've learned things about myself I didn't know were there.
And somehow
at just the right time
there was a need to create a new PAID position
that has been handed to me.

And because God's hand is all over it, 
I know the time is right
and it is good.

And I am humbled by 
His kindness
His timing
and
His continued provision

It will take time to adjust around here
and we will have to pull together 
to remain together

But the One who orchestrated it
will surely keep it together...
of this I am sure.

And so, this morning, in the stillness
I am ever aware of His continued goodness to my children and I.
And I anticipate how He will use me here
as well as there

The title I wear HERE remains first and foremost...
it is constant
and priority.

But there's a new title,
and because I see it as a gift given,
I am grateful
and 
humbled
and excited to see it all unfold...

There are young mothers to love on
babies to help save
LIFE to affirm...

And who doesn't like that their NEW JOB is really their OLD JOB, but with a paycheck...
And, that their first day of work isn't really their first day of work
and no butterflies are involved...
It is good...

"Open your mouth and taste, 
open your eyes and see—
         how good God is. 
   Blessed are you who run to him." 
Psalm 34:8-10

In this morning stillness
my thoughts run far
and my need to be intentional is firm 
it will take the whole family to make it work well...
but I think we are all up to the challenge.

"There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart..."
Celia Thaxter

5 comments:

Mrs.Rabe said...

Terri,

That is awesome! Praying that God will work out the details of schedules, and family dinners, etc.

Deanna

Kristy said...

Such wonderful news! Someday (when I'm not in the middle of packing up my entire house, we'll have to have a conversation about this in in more detail, because I would love to hear about what you're doing and how others can get involved.

Jeane` said...

I am SO thrilled for you, Terri~...what a provision! what a purpose! what a PERFECT heart to fulfill it!!!!

PS. You are an amazing mother. You truly are. The days of scheduling family time seem far away, but I know it is not.

amy said...

WOOHOOOOOOO!!!!

Congratulations!!! Such an amazing ministry! A cause that is close to our hearts.

God bless you in this next chapter.

peace,
amy

consume me... said...

Thanks, ladies! I'm excited to be able to stay on at the center...I had figured I'd have to stop working there when a "real job" came along! Nice how God works out those little details!

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