Time cherished and wasted and redeemed...

I'm sitting here this morning in an empty and quiet house.  

I'm soaking in the quiet in here

and the soft song of a bird outside the window.

I'm reflecting and pondering a few things today.

But all the while, I am aware of the stillness that is settled around me.

I've always cherished the quiet,

the times where the house is empty for a few hours...

But these days there is more than just silence inside our empty walls...

there is an awareness of time passing by

and the need to capture it and embrace it while it is still here.

All too soon these rooms will be empty more than they are full.

 I'm learning the art of being fully aware of  this moment.

Of being present.

"Wherever you are be there"

We got off to a shaky start this morning...

one of us did.

Something about the rush to the bus and lunch not being packed in the right bag.

Seriously.

There are not many minutes to spare

there is hair to be straightened

outfits to be changed...

and re-changed

shoes to be found

teeth to be brushed

and a host of other minute details 

THAT ARE THE SAME DETAILS WE HAD TO DO YESTERDAY.

There's no surprise about what time the bus comes.

It's pretty much like clockwork every morning.

And yet, at least once a week there is a flurry of 

frustrated

short-tempered

harried 

people standing at my front door...

just long enough for a quick prayer of blessing over the day.

This morning's prayer went something like this:

DEAR LORD, 

We stink at being nice.  

Forgive us for starting out our day with such bad attitudes 

and help us to somehow start over.  

This time with a little niceness.

AMEN

And then something truly remarkable happened.

I opened my mouth 

and told the afore-mentioned attitudinally challenged child;

"HAVE A GREAT DAY. HAVE A TRULY FAB-U-LOUS DAY, child."

{go ahead, insert sarcasm in EVERY SINGLE WORD}

SIGH...

I suck at the simple art of niceness some days.

Maybe the reason I relish quietness in this house

 is because no one is here to hear me

 open my big fat mouth 

and blurt unkind words to.

Maybe it's because I need the silence to 

repent

 and 

recover

 from my own nasty attitudes.

While I am learning to cherish the time I have left,

I do a pretty good job at sabotaging it, too.

Some moments I just stink at 

"the art of being fully aware of  this moment".

I am fully aware of how many moments I waste

with selfishness

and pride

and the need to be right.

I'm taking charge of the moment right in front of me..

finding freedom in the forgiveness of my morning's failures

and choosing to SEE around me instead of 

closing my eyes to it all,

because I'm safer there.

And so my list continues to grow...

#27 Laughter of family within the walls of our home

#28 Dinner prepared by someone else's hands

#29 Peeking over a child's shoulder to see the words

"I love my family"

#30 Driving in the sunshine with the windows cracked OPEN

#31 The investment of an older mentor in my daughter's life

#32 Words from the Doctor to my son, 

"You don't need me"

evidence that GOD does, indeed heal 

#33 Silence in the home...time alone with the Lord

Time standing still.