Twenty years in a blink...

It used to be that when someone asked me about something that happened 10 years ago I had no memory that went back that far.  Then they'd ask about something that happened twenty years ago and I started to feel old because I can vividly remember well things that happened twenty years ago.

 This is my most vivid memory of twenty years ago....

Exactly twenty years ago today my life changed forever.  This little package came my way and changed the way I see life, changed the way I see the world, and changed just about everything else I can think of too.  He was an only child for three years...back when the house was kind of quiet and orderly.  He made me realize that everything I say and do matters..because he was the first one who was watching...really watching to see if I meant what I said.  He pushed my buttons, made me cry on more than one occasion {sometimes for joy, too!}, and made me feel totally inadequate to handle parenthood.  But he was also the reason that I pushed through the fear and the uncertainty and settled on the Foundation on which I would stand.  I guess you could say he made me realize I needed to rely on Someone else for Strength and Wisdom because without It I wasn't going to do a very good job!

Alex tried my patience more than once...like this day- the day I decided to incorporate the book, "Potty-training in a Day" into our routine.  The day was a dud after about an hour of multiple cups of water, alot of pee on the floor and lots and lots of tears from both of us.

Eventually he figured it out and does quite well at pottying these days.

I'm pretty sure this picture was taken yesterday- Alex's first haircut.  I can drum up the memory and almost touch it.  {The blue and yellow pant/dress was in style for little boys those days, I assure you}

These days haircuts are a little more thrifty- they take place in our bathroom and the dress code is optional.

Getting him to smile for a picture with his prized birthday hat used to be alot easier.

now it's like pulling teeth to get him to make a straight face...

His toys have gotten bigger over the years...

And now, the first day of school doesn't involve a big yellow bus, but a walk across a college campus...

It's a strange feeling...this feeling compared to the one twenty years ago.  Back then I was twice his size and towered over him when I hugged him. 

These days our roles are reversed and it's him who towers over me

One thing hasn't changed at all.  Amidst the potty training, the disciplining, the trials and errors, the disagreements, the laughter, the heartache, the joking, the laundry in the middle of the floor, the tattooing, the piercings and the shared memories, one thing has never changed:  This baby boy turned man still catches my heart when I see him.  He still makes me proud to be his mom-still makes me want to be a better me because he is watching.  He has an incredible future ahead of him that is still unfolding itself, but He has a heart to follow God and a zest for life that makes everyone around him smile.

Happy 20th Birthday, Alex

I love you!

"Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."

Colossians 1:9-12