Something new while I wait...

What's new and why am I waiting, you ask?
For starters, you're reading my first post on this blog site...it's my first personal blog-my business's blog is at a current standstill:

http://luluandtutz.blogspot.com/

If you follow the shop's blog, you know that it's been stuck on a post from July 11th! And, if you read it, you'll know why...

AND, you'll also understand what I am waiting for...

Waiting seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. Unexpectedly, I often seem to find myself in the old familiar waiting room of unanswered questions and unknown futures. (I won't get into the details of all of that on my first post...wouldn't want to scare any newbies away!) This time it is another pretty big one...the future of my business is at stake. As usual, though, the waiting -while somewhat excruciating and seemingly unending, is forcing me to choose quiet and stillness. To ask alot of questions, and do alot of listening.

(**I need to post a disclaimer here... I honestly just searched Google for the word "waiting"...thinking perhaps I'd find a great picture of a woman "waiting" to post here. While I did NOT find a woman waiting, I DID find these men who are putting their waiting time to interesting use. Please forgive me for not resisting the temptation to post them...while random, they totally made me laugh outloud!)

I'm sorry...I had to do it.

I hope I am being a bit more ladylike while I wait...

Anyway, while I have some extra time on my hands I thought it a great time to start a new blog as I'm missing updating the blog at the shop. I also thought I'd like a venue where I could be a little freer to be open and just be "me" without offending a customer who does not have an affection for my faith as I do. I make no excuses here...it's just who I am, but in a business setting I'm slightly less able to be so free.

I hope to spend a little time babbling about what I'm learning from day to day- what the Lord is teaching me in my waiting room, and share the joy of stepping OUT of the waiting room when the time comes, too. I'm sure my children will appear frequently upon these pages, as they seem to appear frequently over my shoulder while I type (and frankly anywhere else in the house I go, too!) I wouldn't choose it to be any other way...I kind of like them!

So let me end this post at the beginning....

One day we were a family of five....and unexpectantly, the next day our count was four. The ending of a ten year marriage suddenly began the BEGINNING of a very special bonding of our little family of four that I would not change, even if I could turn back the clock. Don't get me wrong...I NEVER expected to be here...never wanted to be, but in retrospect BEING here gave me new life. And gave my children a chance to have a mom who is whole.

While whole in spirit, I am on an unending quest to be consumed daily by the One who gives me breath each morning and strength to get through whatever craziness lies ahead. I don't expect to ever really have it all down pat...don't expect to ever attain all that I reach for until the day I enter eternity's gates. But, I've found strength and joy in the reaching and I pray the three who watch behind me will as a result find IT too.

They are the reason I got myself up off the floor of despair and rejection and the reason I run to the cross each day for the Grace to raise them alone. They are the reason I sit in the waiting room, waiting for direction. They make me push myself beyond what I'm able, and they make me lie down and rest in the Strong arms that provide me with answers...they make me realize I cannot do this life-thing alone. And they remind me with their ever-gazing eyes that they are watching, seeing all that I do, hearing all that I say...

I can't give them everything,

but I can give them my faith...they must take it for their own,

but they will want it only if mine is real....

They are the reason we call ourself a family.

And they are the ones who make it ALL worthwhile.