"I hold on to You for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post..." Psalm 63
Friday, October 2, 2009
I kind of like control...
I'm letting go again....
In exactly one hour I'll be on my way to the DMV with Nick. I think I hate that place. It represents a very unwelcome event...again. It means before long I'll be handing my keys to another son...again. It means I no longer get to sit in the drivers seat whenever I want. (And I DO want!) It means I won't be hearing as much "SHOTGUN!" between the two of them (as they push each other out of the way) and more "I'M DRIVING!" between the two of US. (As I dive for the keyring) I don't really think it's because I've learned to be self-sufficient as a single woman...because I do the same thing at the grocery store with the cart!!! I just like to do the driving! I know where I'm going and like to get there.
Last time around I vaguely remember alot of tense moments while I sat in the passenger seat...I remember white knuckles and praying for the dear life of my family. I remember wishing I could sit face to face with whoever the lunatic was that decided 16yr old boys are competent and self-controlled enough to get behind a wheel...IN THEIR PARENT'S CAR...WITH THE REST OF THE FAMILY IN THE BACKSEAT!!!!!! Someone should seriously consider rethinking that law.
Sigh...as all parent must, I'm letting go of control in this ONE area. I don't like it, but I'll do it...I guess.
There's a spiritual lesson in there, I just know it. And it kind of makes me mad. I think it goes something like: "The control isn't really yours in the first place, so giving it back is only putting it back where it belonged all along." Or maybe: "These kids aren't truly YOURS to hang on to. So stop trying to control their growing up....I'm growing them into something good...LET ME". Or perhaps: "Move over and let me drive...why does it take such a vivid picture to make you see it's not YOUR place???"
Speaking of unexpected Spiritual lessons....here's another one from my house this week.
Emma decided to make cookies the other day. She proceeded to get everything out on the counter, only to find out that we needed sugar. "No problem," I said..."you get everything measured and ready, I'll run to the store, then you can finish. But, just wait til I get back and I'll help you."
SOMETHING about that message didn't register with her, and when I returned home she had already mixed every ingredient together, sans sugar. And was ready to add the sugar and be done.
"WHAT? Seriously? You didn't bother to read the directions that tells you how to separate the dry ingredients from the wet? Didn't read it say to add the sugar to the butter and the eggs? Instead you poured it all together in one bowl and figure it's good enough? Sigh...."
SO, after a little back-tracking and separating as much as possible, we added the sugar and hoped for the best!
Though they came out a little flat (perhaps because she didn't read the directions correctly) they weren't just edible, but they were actually kind of GOOD!
The Lesson is this: just like cookie directions are there to show us the way to make a good cookie, we have the same given to us in life through God's Word and His guidance. It's right in front of us, but we get to choose whether or not we will actually look to it. Often we don't, and we have to start all over to right our mistakes. Sometimes, even though all the ingredients are there...we added them in the wrong order, so the outcome is less than perfect. Less than God's best for us...BUT....He, being as creative as He is, can still work with it and cause it in the end to be GOOD.
Ugh....all around me, reminders that I need to give up control of my life...again.