Streams in the desert...

Years ago my mom gifted me with a book called "Streams in the Desert" by Mrs. Charles E Cowman.  She gave it to me at a time when I craved encouragement and peace...and I devoured the book every morning for several years.  It's a devotional book, put together with scripture and great quotes that Mrs. Cowman gathered in the early 1920s.  There's something about the old English it's written in that I just enjoy (which would TOTALLY shock Mr. Ide and Mr. Little, my high school English teachers...I don't necessarily care for it as a habit, but in this book, yes!) so occasionally I get it out and start it over again.  And, usually it speaks right to whatever it is I am currently dealing with.

Here's what I read this morning:

"He commonly brings His help in our greatest extremity, that His finger may plainly appear in our deliverance.  And this method He chooses that we may not trust upon anything that we see or feel, as we are always apt to do, but only upon His bare Word, which we

 may depend upon in every state." 

C.H. Von Bogatzky

"Remember it is the very time for faith to work when sight ceases.  The greater the difficulties,

the easier for faith; as long as there remain certain natural prospects, faith does not

get on even as easily as where natural prospects fail."

George Mueller

"It is the very time for faith to work when sight ceases"

Although I eagerly await some clear answers, I rest here knowing that the way will not be hidden forever...

Christmas Open House...

The last few weeks have been a little busy around here while I've gotten ready for

"The Cottonwood House at Home" Christmas Show.  My friend Verna is opening up her home and barn starting today until Sunday for a huge Christmas Sale.  There are 10 other women coming together to combine alot of GREAT items:  everything from home furnishings, Christmas decor, Boutique items, kitchen accessories and MORE.  Even though it's only the beginning of November, it feels like Christmas at Verna's this week!  I was shocked to see how her home has been transformed into a beautiful store!  I highly recommend making the trip to Cochranville this weekend if you're looking for something to do.  It's a great place to get a jumpstart on your Christmas list!

(* The address is 3480 Homeville Road, Cochranville, PA)

Open:

Thurs - Fri 4-8pm

Sat 10-5pm

Sun 1-5pm

This is what my house has looked like for the last few weeks...

glitter everywhere...

lots of projects...

Hats...

jewelry

MORE jewelry...

Now that everything is set up at Verna's, my house is back to normal...most of my weekend will be spent at the Open House, so hopefully it stays that way!

 It's been good to feel creative again...as much as I've enjoyed some time off these last few months, it's been nice to get my feet back in it a little again.  There are still many unknowns for the shop...for me.  But, the Lord has graciously continued to provide as He has me waiting for answers and directions.  And...I shouldn't be surprised, because He always does.  His faithfulness doesn't change...HE is STILL who HE has ALWAYS been.  In charge.  All knowing.  Totally in control.

"God is predictable in His character, but He is completely unpredictable in His activity." 

CAN I HEAR AN AMEN!?!

I have never been able to predict what comes next for me.  Never been able to take one step in front of Him and anticipate His next big move.  He, thankfully, keeps me a step behind Him...to follow Him instead of lead Him.  No doubt I would have lead Him to some pretty unpleasant places in a vain attempt to satisfy my own selfish desires.  While I often have resented not being allowed to have things my way...in retrospect, I'd rather be tied to a post than be left to my own guidance.  Thankfully, such measures are not required for obedience.  But, I think I've learned that if it took a yard of rope to tie me to obedience, I'd do it....I think I'd do it just because I'd rather obey God than live with the consequences of having my own way.  My way scares the pants off of me...I don't ever want to be free of the desire to abandon myself to obedience.  The way is awful quiet and lonely somedays....but there's no fear.  I'm not looking over my shoulder wondering if I'll get caught.  I'm doing the only thing I CAN do right now. 

Standing still and shutting up.

(Granted, sometimes I have to clamp my hand over my mouth and duct tape it there...

but my job is to shuttie-uppie until God says "get out of jail and PASS GO".)

"Cease striving and know that I AM GOD."

Psalm 46:10

Flu bugs and showers...

Everytime you turn on the news there is advice on how to avoid getting the flu - swine or otherwise.  "Lots of liquids, constant washing of hands, and plenty of rest."  While these seem so simple,  we still resist doing them, because life just demands so much of us and we somehow feel immune to misfortune.  We'd rather run the risk than inconvenience our schedule and actually rest and take care of our bodies.

 

I was thinking this morning, how true that is in a spiritual sense, too.  We run, run, run until we are faced with an unexpected situation...and suddenly we are backtracking, trying to fix something that might have been avoided with a little maintenance....a couple of glasses of scripture, a little washing of our minds, and alot of resting in Him. 

We'd do well to take care of our bodies as well as our spirits in this season of flu.

"Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on ME."

Isaiah 30:15

It's a rubber boot kind of day around here...

"Be glad in your God. He's giving you a teacher to train you how to live right— Teaching, like rain out of heaven, showers of words to refresh and nourish your soul..."

Joel 2:21

"Start somewhere...do something..."

That's one of the quotes I heard yesterday that has resonated with me all day...

We started a week of missions focus at church yesterday...my absolute favorite week of the year...bar none.  I tend to listen at the edge of my seat for 7 days straight of meetings.  Yesterday's speaker spoke great words of wisdom- and I've recalled them several times today. 

I wonder somedays...what am I DOING while I'm waiting for a clear direction?  I second guess myself...second guess this waiting time.  But, was reminded recently by a friend that God is still providing, still directing day to day.  Evidence that He is still in the waiting.  And yet, in the waiting there is movement...clear direction to START SOMEWHERE...just DO SOMETHING.  The "doing" this week is in preparing for a Christmas Open House in November and in beginning a new journey of volunteer work today that I've been curious about for a while.  At a local pregnancy center. 

It was awesome!  And, I wonder if in this "doing" there will be a new direction some day.  I can't possibly know that now, but I wonder....is there something totally new...something off in the distance that God is preparing me for???  I can't possibly know...but I can start somewhere and DO something.

Another thing that has stuck with me today is the idea of being "ONE eyed"...

(Picture of Emma courtesy of my darling friend Amber...find her here:  http://amberjacobyphotography.tumblr.com/ )

Focused like you are when you look with just one eye....it's hard to see more than one thing at a time.  Being "ONE-eyed" means living life with one goal in mind...and that goal is sharing Jesus with people in every day life.  Not focused on the details of the world that turns around me, but focused on what is in front of me...on the mission God has put me in today.  It's focusing on that even while I clean dirty dishes and when I lug the garbage out to the garage.  It's in the attitude of my heart when I deal with people who are unruly or when I repeat the same mundane job for the 15th time this week.  It's in how I see the old man who walks past with a limp, or the young child who is out of control, running wild.  It's seeing past the tatooed teenager w/the piercings or the smell of someone unbathed and instead looking into their heart in need of Jesus...

Being "ONE-eyed" means I have a single focus in my life and the tug of the world will fade in the background, because the job I have to do requires my whole attention.  It requires me to shut one eye so that the OTHER eye can do its work.

"I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing Him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is He is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life He has for His followers, oh, the utter extravagance of His work in us who trust Him—endless energy, boundless strength!"

Ephesians 1:15 (The Message)

Maybe, just maybe there's a purpose in the waiting...maybe the job to be done is not one that comes with an earthly paycheck...maybe the unpaid job has rewards far greater than a Retirement Fund and a great Health Insurance policy.  Maybe there's SO much more for me to learn about what real work is that it's the very reason for the waiting in the first place.  Maybe....

A young woman emerging...

Well, it's official.  As of tomorrow at 2:55 am there will be a third teenager in this house!  I have no idea how that happened....it wasn't supposed to happen so soon, was it??  All those years that have been creeping by are suddenly right in my face.  There were days that it seemed I would be raising babies forever...days I wasn't sure which way was up and how on earth I survived it alone.  But looking back today, it was but a blink...snapshots of little bodies grown way too quickly.  Somehow I had myself convinced that because she was the youngest she'd always be little. 

She came to us in just the right order...last in line, two big brothers to hover over her.  I was certain I'd wanted a girl for every pregnancy...certain I'd understand a girl better and know just what to do with her.  But first came two boys...stunting me at first....making me wonder just what kind of sense of humor our Creator must have!  Two boys full of life, energy and sometimes, fight.  We lived tractors and firetrucks, hockey sticks and baseball...and we were happy with this life.  But when she came, that armful of pinkness...I almost didn't know what to do with her!  She moved a part of me I hadn't known existed....a part of me that was too afraid to even hope for a daughter.  I was complete with those energetic little boys...they'd taught me so much about boyhood that I had never known I wanted to know.  And I was prepared to do it a third time....just because I was afraid to hope that maybe....

And yet, there she was in my arms...tears spilling all over her precious face.  And I was hooked...forever.

Subjected to life with two big brothers who weren't really sure what to do with her at first...but just loved all over her!

Life with this little girl has always been a blessing....she was the ray of sunshine that kept me smiling through tears...

She brought gentleness to an otherwise rowdy household...

She brought a love for all things pink I didn't know was hidden inside me...

And she keeps me laughing and in awe of all that she is becoming.

This young lady that wakes up in my house every morning is a source of joy and delight to us all.  Amidst the busyness of our days and the clatter of our lives she brings me back to reality.  The harsh reality that these moments are precious and fleeting.  These days are few, and she will one day...in the not so distant future...walk her own walk, right out of my home.  She'll be grown and eagerly stepping out to her future.  But today, she's still becoming Emma....still finding her way through the distractions and sometimes ugliness of our world.  She's determining who she wants to be, and Whose she wants to be.  She's deciding if what she's been taught all her life is really all it's cracked up to be.  If it's worth the risk of losing herself to a bigger Plan.  She's determining if God is really who He says He is....does He really love her like a Father and keep her like a Shepherd?  These are the things of a young lady's heart...the things that tug deep and pull hard at the core of who she is.  All around her wants to tell her another story...wants to pull her far from the Path that's been laid out since ancient times....But this precious one has been bought with a price.  Her name is engraved on the palm of the Redeemer's hand.  She is His.

She is a young woman...emerging.  And my heart is in awe. 

I love you, Emmaleigh Catherine...

Happy 13th Birthday!

SIGH....

REALLY nervous smile...."Scariest test of my life!"

...REALLY scared behind the wheel for the first time...

REALLY excited...a job well done. 

(You cannot see Emma jumping out of the car saying, "Finally, solid ground!")

I kind of like control...

I'm letting go again....

In exactly one hour I'll be on my way to the DMV with Nick.  I think I hate that place.  It represents a very unwelcome event...again.  It means before long I'll be handing my keys to another son...again.  It means I no longer get to sit in the drivers seat whenever I want.  (And I DO want!)  It means I won't be hearing as much "SHOTGUN!" between the two of them (as they push each other out of the way) and more "I'M DRIVING!" between the two of US.  (As I dive for the keyring)  I don't really think it's because I've learned to be self-sufficient as a single woman...because I do the same thing at the grocery store with the cart!!!  I just like to do the driving!  I know where I'm going and like to get there. 

Last time around I vaguely remember alot of tense moments while I sat in the passenger seat...I remember white knuckles and praying for the dear life of my family.  I remember wishing I could sit face to face with whoever the lunatic was that decided 16yr old boys are competent and self-controlled enough to get behind a wheel...IN THEIR PARENT'S CAR...WITH THE REST OF THE FAMILY IN THE BACKSEAT!!!!!!  Someone should seriously consider rethinking that law.

Sigh...as all parent must, I'm letting go of control in this ONE area.  I don't like it, but I'll do it...I guess.

There's a spiritual lesson in there, I just know it.  And it kind of makes me mad.  I think it goes something like: "The control isn't really yours in the first place, so giving it back is only putting it back where it belonged all along."  Or maybe: "These kids aren't truly YOURS to hang on to.  So stop trying to control their growing up....I'm growing them into something good...LET ME".  Or perhaps:  "Move over and let me drive...why does it take such a vivid picture to make you see it's not YOUR place???"

Sigh...

Speaking of unexpected Spiritual lessons....here's another one from my house this week. 

Emma decided to make cookies the other day.  She proceeded to get everything out on the counter, only to find out that we needed sugar.  "No problem," I said..."you get everything measured and ready, I'll run to the store, then you can finish.  But, just wait til I get back and I'll help you."

SOMETHING about that message didn't register with her, and when I returned home she had already mixed every ingredient together, sans sugar.  And was ready to add the sugar and be done. 

"WHAT?  Seriously?  You didn't bother to read the directions that tells you how to separate the dry ingredients from the wet?  Didn't read it say to add the sugar to the butter and the eggs?  Instead you poured it all together in one bowl and figure it's good enough?  Sigh...."

SO, after a little back-tracking and separating as much as possible, we added the sugar and hoped for the best!

Though they came out a little flat (perhaps because she didn't read the directions correctly) they weren't just edible, but they were actually kind of GOOD!

The Lesson is this: just like cookie directions are there to show us the way to make a good cookie, we have the same given to us in life through God's Word and His guidance.  It's right in front of us, but we get to choose whether or not we will actually look to it.  Often we don't, and we have to start all over to right our mistakes.  Sometimes, even though all the ingredients are there...we added them in the wrong order, so the outcome is less than perfect.  Less than God's best for us...BUT....He, being as creative as He is, can still work with it and cause it in the end to be GOOD. 

Ugh....all around me, reminders that I need to give up control of my life...again.

An ancient question...

So, I'm working through this Bible Study...and today's lesson hit a mark.  We've come to a place in David's life where he's decided to do something for God.  He wants to give back, wants to honor God's faithfulness to him and his family, and upon looking around his own palace with its lush amenities it strikes him that while he has this great place to live, the Ark of the Lord's presence has spent years wandering from place to place.  With no permanent place to call "home".  So David makes this grand plan to build a resting spot for the presence of the LORD...it's with a sincere motive to honor GOD.  But, God says to David, "No...you will not build ME a home, I will build for you a home...a name for all time.  An honor far greater than what you set out to do for me."  He wanted to build David's house so that for generations to come we would all know that the One who He would send to save us all had come from the line of David.

Whoa....

David's overwhelmed response is this, "Who am I that you should bring my family THIS FAR?"  He's taken back..unable to understand what he could possibly have done to deserve such grace from God. 

"David voiced the sentiment of countless followers of God who have been startled by

His scandalous grace through the centuries."  Beth Moore

This struck a chord with me this morning.  How much I have to be graciously thankful for.  How unspeakably blessed my family is that HE should choose to bring us THIS FAR.  While our "THIS FAR" doesn't look like much to the world's standards, to me...because I know what I'd be if the road of life had taken me in a different direction...to me, we are FAR.  Far from what we'd be without the jolting wake up call of the last 11 years.  Far from what we'd be if life had served us a bounty of goodness on its platter.  Life today is GOOD only because God has brought us THIS FAR through some pretty rough terrain...and we've lived to proclaim it's only truly because of HIS gracious goodness to us.  It's only because HE soothes the pain and provides for the needs.  Because HE's a better daddy than one I could have picked.  Because HE knows better than I do how to stand strong in the face of unanswered questions. 

We are THIS FAR because there's a Father in heaven looking down with some enourmous amount of patience who daily lifts me off my bottom and reminds me HE is in control.  I can list a dozen things my human self would like to ask that He fix or provide, but that list is nothing but dust compared to what I have instead. 

"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes...that's why I'm thanking you, God, all over the world.  That's why I'm singing songs that rhyme your name"  Psalm 18:24 & 49 (The Message)

God's plan is to mark our lives with His glory....He wants to take us THIS FAR--so far, in fact that there is no explanation but that it HAS to be God, because on our own we would wilt and curl up in the fetal position.

Breathe deep...

Exhale...

If it was in my power to do so, I would have erased this day from the calendar altogether....or maybe just the first half of the day. This morning I was called upon to do something I would rather not do....EVER. But, beyond my control, it had to be done...so I did it. I'll not get into the details of the task...that's not really the point here. The point is this:

Life is made up of lots of things we don't sign up for. We get called upon to handle something we don't feel qualified in the flesh to handle, and we have a choice to make. Freeze in temporary paralysis...or breathe. One deep breath at a time. At first thought, paralysis looks more inviting....and I often try it on for size first. But, as with my situation this morning, some things are just NOT going to go away and must be faced head-on. Deep breath....exhale.

I had ordered my morning in such a way as to have a few moments of quiet before I went on my way. Thankfully. In the quiet of those few moments a thought came to me that the anxiety that was welling up inside me was not of the LORD but a trick of the enemy to get my eyes OFF the One who promised to walk beside me and ONTO him. Even allowing a little anxiety was giving a piece of ME over to him. "Be anxious for NOTHING..." The moment I gave back control, I felt peace wash over me. The circumstances had not miraculously changed....but I changed the direction of my focus and gave control back where it belonged.

I still hate everything about this morning...I'm not necessarily thrilled with the outcome of it, but I've learned a few things:

1. The enemy does NOT get to say how I will respond to unpleasant situations.

2. Though he thinks he can push me to his side, the enemy does not get to take my eyes off of the One who holds me.

3. Faith means we act in accordance with what we KNOW...not in what we see.

4. All I really need to know is that I'm being obedient in my actions and my attitudes...HE is able to take care of the rest.

5. Even when things turn out contrary to what I'd like, He is still LORD over ALL things, people and situations.

Victory in a situation doesn't necessarily mean that I've gotten what I wanted or that things have turned out according to my plans. Victory means I've stood my ground, looked the enemy in the eye and walked in full confidence that he is already defeated. Victory doesn't necessarily look like victory to human eyes...

Today victory looks like a task completed, an enemy defeated and a chapter closed...

I can't ask for more than that, so I breathe deep and exhale...

Another birthday...

Nicholas Christian Hershey

September 19, 1993

Today I welcome another 16 year old into my home. He's the middle child...and I guess that means in some ways it's not as shocking to me this time around. But, in light of his brother's departure to college this year, I guess I'm seeing it as not just a milestone, but as a reality check...all too soon he will be grown up and gone.

There were days when Nick was young I wondered if I'd survive his childhood...for years I didn't understand what made this cherub tick! From the day he was born, he has worn his thoughts, opinions and emotions on his sleeve...and it used to drive me crazy that he reacted OUT LOUD! Til the day I finally got wise and realized he might be the one I will have the least amount of trouble understanding because he hides NOTHING! Good, bad or ugly...it's out there for the world to see...but there's never any question about what he's going through, because he'll be the first to tell you.

I've come to realize what a blessing...albeit it often a challenge...that is. What's a kid to do when he's stuck between a clown and a princess!?!

"May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalm 19:14

As my family has emerged through the years, I see now how God has his hand all over each one of us - shaping us by our circumstances, and drawing us closer to Him and to each other in the process. We had some really rough years early on in Nick's life. He doesn't really remember much about his dad living with us. That's rough for a kid of any age...but I marvel at the way he has acclimated to what has become normal to him. It just is what it is.

There are certainly memories of some pretty terrific fights between my boys through the years. I lost count of how many wrestling matches my livingroom floor has seen. I used to marvel how it was possible for them to be in a room together for less than 10 seconds before they were all over each other! Somewhere along the line they decided they kind of liked each other...and even though there are 3 years between them, they built a friendship that is still growing and emerging today...

This picture is priceless...I realize now how "fatherly" Alex sometimes acted towards Nick. They had a sort of unspoken understanding of each

other's struggles.

I think he's missing his big brother more today than he would dare let on!

Another priceless picture...I remember this day like yesterday...



A loving death grip!

A young man of many skills...some he has yet to realize and believe he can do. Both athletic and musical he could accel in either...should he so choose to do so! A great outdoorsman and lover of all things nature, something I saw in pure form this summer in the jungle of Africa. He loves to fix things and create things. Loves a good joke, a good action-filled movie and the company of a good friend. His heart is tender towards things that not all kids notice. Like his great grandma, and the old man who rides his bike back and forth on our street looking for cans to collect.

I wonder who the young man is that is growing inside him. I wonder what he will be and what he will do with his life. I realize that much of his personality today was there in his toddler years...that core of who he is has always been there...it's just maturing and refining. But how will it play out in his adult life? I pray he will use what he's been given for the glory of God...and the benefit of others. I see such promise in him...and not just because he's my son, but because God has made him in His own image and given him everything he needs for life and godliness...

My prayer for this young man is first and foremost that this would be his desire:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all

your soul and with all your strength."
Deut. 6:5

"He has taught you, Oh man what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love

mercy and walk humbly with your God."

Micah 6:8

Happy Birthday, Nick...

you are a joy and a delight to your mother's heart!

Peace or passiveness???

I'm not really sure where this post is going to end up...I try not to sit here until I feel like I have something to say. There's always SOMETHING to say...but it doesn't always need to be heard! This morning there are a lot of things running through my mind...some are a little choppy and fragmented...most just a conglomeration of a lot of unanswered questions.

I have more than my share of time to kill these days. I am NOT complaining...I could get used to deciding my schedule each morning. BUT, on the other hand, the fact that I have seemingly no choice in the matter brings up the point that I don't really want it to stay this way forever!

So, while I have the "luxury" of time these days, I'm doing my best to get the most out of the quiet hours. Last Thursday a new year of Bible study began at church...something I ALWAYS look forward to. The book that we're starting out with is appropriately named, "Annointed, Transformed, Redeemed" (The Study of the Life of David). I identify so much with David...I guess why I am drawn often to reading of the Psalms. I love his honesty, his pure search for God, and his freedom to cry it out "like it is". The first few years of being a single mom, these chapters were all I could seem to digest...their words held a healing balm to my oozing heart.

So, how appropriate that my healed heart should return back to David's at another time of questioning and searching for answers to my life's circumstances.

I beat myself up alot...question that I am listening correctly, following correctly, and just plain responding correctly. Lately I've been wondering why my heart is at rest to the situation in front of me:

I have no job. No sign of one in the near future. I have a business that is packed up in storage with no direction of what to do with it. I have bills. And I have a need for a man's-sized salary....and no indication of how on earth that is possible! My life could actually make a pretty funny book. Because, while there is a real LACK of resolution to so many issues (some might call it chaos, even!), there is this crazy PEACE that surrounds my daily life.

Back to my tendancy to question myself (and the reason I actually sat down to post this)...I've been questioning this peace. (Huh?!) Yes, questioning if perhaps the peace was actually disguising complacency. I question if I'm just enjoying this time so much that I don't actually want to hear the direction I should be hearing. But that makes no sense because I'm positioning myself to hear, I'm reading the Word, I'm listening to others around me and I'm pursuing the heart of God.

This morning, while sitting here to work on my Bible study

I read something that finally explained it clearly to me. I've been reading about David's pursuit of God. His desire to include Him in every decision and every action of his life. (I kind of think I'd like to meet a modern-day David...he's my kind of man!) David had been anointed by Samuel when he was 15, but he waited for 15 more years to become king of Judah...that's a long time. During that time he pursued God...made HIM an intrical part of his decision-making processes. And, when David asked...God answered....HE made HIS plans clear. And then David obeyed them. David's life was a picture of what it looks like to pursue God. And because of it, he lived a life of PEACE.

Rather than taking matters into his own hands, he asked for wisdom, waited for it (peacefully), then obeyed HIS orders.

"Peace characterizes the person who trusts God." P. Shirer

There's that word that I've been questioning in my own life...is it real or is it complacency??? The following verse, which I've read umpteen times, jumped out at me differently this morning...

"Don't worry about ANYthing; instead pray about EVERYthing. Tell God what you need and THANK Him for all He has done. THEN you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7 (NLT)

MY VERSION: I am not to worry about ANY thing. But to pray about EVERY thing. I am to lay my needs in front of Him and THANK HIm for what He's already done for me (SO MUCH!). And, after that I will experience HIS peace which will go beyond what I can understand - it will not make sense, especially when it is in the "eye" of a life of seemingly unresolved chaos....but it WILL be there. And, that peace will guide me - as long as the peace is there, I am on track - the moment it is gone, I must look to see where I left it behind to follow my own way....and go back there to resume. Where there is peace I must stay put...this peace is my compass.

DEEP BREATH....this peace is good.

It's raining cats...

There's a remake of Noah's flood forming in my basement. I knew when I heard the rain this morning that it was going to happen...it always does with a hard, steady rain. The routine is, move everything that can be moved, mop the puddles, go upstairs for an hour, then come back down to repeat the process...and pray it doesn't produce a basement full of black mold! The main culperate is an outside entrance with a drain that will not drain. So because the filled-up drain has no where to go, it sneaks under the basement door

and takes over. UGH!

Exhibit A:

(Hard to see on my phone's camera, but trust me, it's GROSS!)

In other news, the kitten has come into her own and decided that she has the run of the house. Until this week she's shied away from anything that appeared to be off limits to her. But not any more. I can't tell you how many times I've come into the room to see her sauntering across the kitchen table (with the SAME claws she just walked through her litter box in, mind you). Yesterday she ran in the bathroom and hopped on the open toilet as it was IN USE. She thinks the bathroom sink is her personal fountain. This morning she tried to climb in the tub with me. An hour ago she weaseled her way through the closed basement door to explore the flood zone. Right now she is curled in a ball sleeping on the same chair that I'M sitting on...I, for some reason, am perched on the very end so that she has enough room. WHAT ON EARTH!?!

I've decided to take back the control she somehow thinks she's gained. She can't tell me what to do or how it's going to be. She's a CAT for goodness sake, not my mom, my boss, or my child. I don't have to listen OR put up with it. Lucky for her, Emma loves her more than I do...

I'm going to go curl up on her kitty pillow and see how SHE likes it.

...from where I sit...

I woke up today with nothing on my To-do list that can't be done tomorrow...or the next day. And, if I'm not careful, I'll begin to think that my life has no real purpose for today. I'm in the silence of the waiting room...and if I don't keep on top of things, it can be a pretty lonely place to be. If I don't keep my nose in the WORD and my head at HIS FEET, my mind wanders to a place like this...

This is where I seem to be sitting today. In a dark room, with a small beam of light shining only on today...tomorrow is clouded from my view because the light shines only on what I need to know for today. Many questions go unanswered...again.

But this promise is mine:

"I love those who love me...and those who seek me find me." Proverbs 8:17

I'll find Him today...maybe not the big picture, but just the little one for today.

I'm sitting here too...in a comfy bright chair...waiting...just waiting. But apparently the word for the day is:

"STOP, I'm not ready yet...I'll let you know what you need to know WHEN you need to know. But not today. Just sit still and enjoy the comfy chair for now."

Insert whine here: "UGH!...when?"

"Maybe tomorrow...just open your eyes!"

"Stop moping about feeling in over your head...like you feel like you're being punished or put on a time-out..."

"Your time IS coming...and you won't even need to wear rose-colored glasses

to see how good it is.

Just wait..."

The nothingness of my week.....

It's Thursday already. The kids are home from school, and it just dawned on me they will be home until Tuesday. I always forget about the long weekend that they have RIGHT after they start school! I'm glad, though...while I like the routine, and was ready for it, I'd still like to hold onto the nice weather a little longer so we can be out and about without sweaters and coats. So I'm planning on enjoying this long weekend....no plans whatsoever as to how we will enjoy it, but we will!

Annual "first day of school picture"

The week has been slow-going and relaxing around the house. It'll be like this until ice hockey starts for Nick...then we'll be taxi-ing him around a couple times a week. But for now, it's been nice to ease into the week of school and chill around the house at night. It's not often that we have NOTHING to do..so I'm really enjoying it, however long it lasts!

My days have been a little like that, too! I feel a little guilty to have such time on my hands with nothing but the regular housework to tug at my schedule! I know it can't last long, so I'm trying to get as much as possible out of my free time!

The highlights of my week...

*Going to the bus stop Monday morning, even though it's not cool...ok, maybe BECAUSE it's not cool! (Who decides that anyway?!?)

*Waving goodbye to the bus

*Lots of alone time on my porch journaling and reading

*spending the WHOLE morning at Panera on the first day of school

*spending the morning at Prince Street Cafe with some of my fav youth and friends!

*spending the day with a friend consignment shopping

*spending the day at home alone doing...nothing?

Wow...doesn't sound like I did much at all that is worth any eternal value! Really...this can only last for so long....my checkbook is screaming back at me to do something about its empty pages. But I really am liking it while it lasts. AND, in the midst of all the nothingness of my days, I've done alot of thinking, planning, praying, and listening....it's not all bad to have nothing to do when you wake up in the morning! Somehow the time flies by and before I know it...or am ready for it, the bus pulls up, and the day is over.

Oops....that didn't sound nice. What I MEANT is that my quiet time is over....my time to think is over. That's what I meant.

Today's highlight...other than, of course, hearing the bus stop in front of the house to drop my children back off, was getting a phone call from Alex. An ACTUAL phone call where I get to hear his voice...not a few words typed in shorthand on a measely text! He surprised me. I've come to expect to hear nothing from him...but there he was, having dialed my number to actually TALK to ME! (I decided it really was just to talk after I waited for a few minutes for him to ask me to send money....when he didn't, I decided it was really just to talk to mom!)

*SMILE*

Now it's dinner time and I'm unprepared. I have no excuses AT ALL! Can't think of one....maybe a pizza night?