Consume me

Spring giveaway...

2012-02-09T08:51:00.000-05:00

I already admitted that I may or may not have addictive tenancies towards Pinterest.

{Doesn't that sound so much better than actually admitting the obvious?!}

So this morning {when I accidently gave in to the craving} I opened up to find this

and was pleasantly surprised to find it was part of a giveaway over at

Inspired by Charm

It snowed here yesterday, and although it looks beautiful this morning

a bucket full of tulips hanging on my front door would be a much more welcome sight...

So I entered to win it...

and you can too.

And if on some rotten luck you or I don't win,

we can purchase our own bucket of tulips on etsy at

EverBloomingOriginal

Go check out the giveaway here...and if you win, let me know!

Soap and Pinsomnia...

2012-02-07T11:47:00.002-05:00

I was just introduced to a website.

It may or may not have been around for a while

and perhaps I am behind the times...

nevertheless,

I like it

and I think I will be using it often...

We'll be introducing it to our youth tomorrow night

in hopes that they, too, will use it

It's a Bible reading tool-

and we all need tools...

because sometimes we just get stuck in a rut

and need a little kick start.

SO check it out...

This is what's up...

2012-02-06T11:36:00.001-05:00

{Nick, swearing into the Marines}

Scarlett is getting bigger by the second

and badd-er by the minute.

my house is infested with doggie-discipline books

one on barking

one on submission

one on what's going through her head

one on how to stay the course and not throw in the towel

...and a schedule for puppy school at PetSmart

Yesterday she ate a shoe lace and a pair of sweatpants and peed on the floor...

but only because ONE of us {a-hem, Nick}

forgot she can't be alone for very long and turned his back-

they are BOTH on probation.

Alex is continuing to seek direction for his future,

Emma just attended a friend's "Quinceanera",

which was new to us and an interesting taste of her friend's culture...

{also, like a small wedding-ish celebration that my budget is glad we don't participate in.}

Last week it got warm enough outside to stand over this

It tasted like summer...

Even though when I turned around,

it looked nothing at all like summer.

It's an interesting thing that is happening over here...

we're busy,

and yet, not...

some of the busyness is just in enjoying each other's presence

and reveling in the here and now...

{that's my perspective, the kids might just say they're sick of being together}

For Christmas, my parents' gift to the whole family was this

which will be happening in less than a month...

I don't think I've ever been so ready to get out of Dodge as I am now.

I'm craving warm sun

ocean breeze

maid service

food prepared by a chef

{who's name tag does not spell out T-e-r-r-i}

But mostly, I'm just excited for all 13 of us to be together for a week....

where it's warm..

The media is trying pretty hard to put a damper on my enthusiasm.

Every day it seems there's a Cruise liner in the spotlight...

today's news went like this:

"3 Cruise Ships Disinfected After Norovirus"

Seriously,

knock it off!

No gastrointestinal illness will slow me down..

Not even the threat of vomiting, diahrrea or nausea will damper my enthusiasm..

No ship run aground will deter me from collecting my tankini and flip flops off the closet floor..

So just enough already..

if you don't have something nice to print,

then just don't print anything, okay?

"It isn't that life ashore is distasteful to me. But life at sea is better."
-Sir Francis Drake

{Here, here, Sir Drake}

Perspective...

2012-01-21T13:12:00.000-05:00

It's cold outside...

Snow has fallen...

There's no Lacrosse game today...

And we're here...

peacefully stranded at home by the fire...

At least from where I SIT that is my perspective on the situation.

To my left, this is happening...

...and she is thinking otherwise...

She's tired of being home

and

SURPRISE!

would rather go to the mall...

To my right, THIS is happening

he is in his own contented-obliviousness

Behind me....

way down that way, where Scarlett is snoring around the corner

sweet, sweet silence...

Speaking of Scarlett...

This happened this morning

In the window of the sunroom,

a burst of color is feasting

Sadly, Alex still had to work today-
No rest for drummers, apparently...

This is the kind of day mothers dream of...

"We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet,

to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient.

It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring,

lightheartedness, and love, we will create abundance and joy

for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile."

Deepak Chopra

{*Deepak Chopra is some kind of weird dude...I just googled him. I like this quote-but may not agree with one other thing he has to say...just putting that out there!}

Resolve...and living

2012-01-16T11:51:00.000-05:00

These next months are before me

and in the back of my mind always...

They are a tribute to the fact that life is an endless cycle.

We birth,

we nurture,

we teach,

we empower,

we push forward...

and eventually {all too soon} we release completely.

While these thoughts provoke ache in a mother's heart,

they are reality.

They do not wait until we are ready...

because, truly..

when

would we be ready?

Move forward,

that is what we do...

with steps more deliberate

and

eyes open a bit wider.

I don't want to miss this moment...

all too soon it will be gone, too.

And it still surprises me when I see him walk in front of me

in seemingly slow motion..

my eye, like a lens, capturing the sight of him in slow motion...

stashed away,

filed for a later day when the sight of him is needed.

There is temptation to let the melancholy seep in

to give in to the lure of discontentment.

But such is not for me

it is not for me to wish away today

for the fear of what comes tomorrow.

It is mine to live today

freely

fully

with contentment

and joy

Resolved to be present...

There are three children in this house today...

not one who has enlisted allegiance to his future...

There are three...

and they are counting on my presence to show up to live today.

"Don't lose your grip on Love and Loyalty.
   Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.
Earn a reputation for living well
   in God's eyes and the eyes of the people.

  Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
   don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

he's the one who will keep you on track."

Prov. 3

Tomorrow...when the time comes...

2012-01-10T00:18:00.000-05:00

It happens tomorrow.

3:30 pm.

I'm not ready...

but I don't imagine there will come a day when I actually will be.

Tomorrow the process begins...

it will be the first of many steps

But, barring ~~a miracle~~ a drastic change,

once this first step is taken,

there is no turning back.

I've known for months this day was coming

it's been looming in the distance,

just where I like it-

the distance.

While my words and my resolve say one thing...

my mother-heart screams another.

I'm feeling a little like I did on this day:

I can remember the emotion of it like it was yesterday.

It was so right and so good...

and at the same time heart-wrenching.

I'm feeling a little like that.

But the thing is, I'm like 6 months early-

Nick isn't going anywhere for a while.

He still has school to finish up...

We have a family cruise to enjoy...

There's a lot of living to do between

now

and

THEN...

But nonetheless...

I'm feeling it deep.

And at a moment's notice,

tears threaten.

So tomorrow,

it's time to regroup,

to eat the bread of Thankfulness

and

TRUST one more time.

I wish to give a little speech

to put words to the pride I feel in him..

but it's more likely I will be involuntarily silenced...

and it's probably for the best.

There is time to say those things...

and they will be said.

Tomorrow is for that thing that every mother must inevitably do..

stand beside your child as he follows his heart

one hand open

the other one gently pushing forward...

Tomorrow...

when the time comes...

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

Matthew 6:34

2012...Back in business

2012-01-08T00:32:00.001-05:00

My computer is back!

She's had a miraculous recovery that cannot be explained...

Her unfortunate death happened about three months ago

And it's been annoying and frustrating to use the old house computer-so I stayed away as much as possible.

BUT...just the other day a friend said he would take a look at her to see if perhaps he could just start all over and rebuild her, brand new.

It took him about 5.5 seconds because when he pushed the ON button

she came ON...

Even though she didn't sputter or cough any of the {many} times I had tried to resuscitate her before...

Nor did she even blink the time the Best Buy Geek Squad tried to jump start her.

It's beyond me...I have no idea why she laid to rest those 3 months and now is working just fine...

but I'll take it.

While I've been gone a few things have happened around here

like this:

Scarlett came to live with us the day after Christmas...

we kind of like her

a lot.

She's changed our schedules and our routines

but in a good way.

She likes to play

and chew...

{Pretty sure there's a spot waiting for us at the local Puppy Academy}

We're finally back in the swing of things after the holidays.

I may or may not have been cheering when the kids went back to school on Monday...

It was time to get back to normal, for sure.

*2012*

It's a NEW YEAR

and as I reflected on the passing of 2011, I was able to see, with deep gratitude,

a year that was filled with the blessing of family.

I look forward- to all that 2012 will hold for our family

and all I see is

change

and

uncertainty

I will graduate another son this year...

Nick

and he has his sights on

the Marines...

I don't need to spell out all of the things that go through a mother's heart when she hears these words.

All I know for sure is that

I have held my children close through these years,

and I do not live with regrets...

And so I can already see that there will be a daily need to

TRUST hard

throughout this year.

It is inevitable

our children grow up

and out

it's what we raise them to do...

Speaking of growing OUT...

Alex

has been looking at apartments with his friends...

and I imagine at some point this year, they will find the one they're searching for

and he'll be moving out on his own

It is inevitable

our children grow up

and out

it's what we raise them to do...

but are we ever really prepared for how quickly

it sneaks up on us?

Yeah...

When I asked the LORD to give me a word to dwell on this year,

you can imagine I was not surprised to hear that the word of the year is

TRUST

I'm pretty sure there will be some tough days this year for our family...

so many changes.

But I'm resolved to take them in stride and remember that

we've done tough days before

and we got through them the same way we'll get through these...

by learning to

TRUST

In the meantime I am soaking in every minute that I have with my children all together under one roof.

If I'm lucky, the four of us gather around the same dinner table once or twice a week...

I told them last night, that there is no greater gift they could give me than to sit and eat together-

doesn't matter if it's steak or PB&J, as long as all four of us are around the same table...

{Some smart-alec blurted out, "That's good, mom, cause we weren't planning on buying any gifts!"}

RUDE!

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

he's the one who will keep you on track.

Don't assume that you know it all.

Run to God! Run from evil!

Your body will glow with health,

your very bones will vibrate with life!

Honor God with everything you own..."

Proverbs 3

It happens every year..

2011-12-08T12:13:00.000-05:00

this feeling I get that makes me want to rebel.

I feel it every year...

Right about the time we start gathering our recipes for Thanksgiving dinner,

the retail megaphones start blurting out all the things we need to accumulate to be

happy

normal

hip

cool

Trees are cut,

lights are strung,

music about a baby and a Santa, blares

And we are brainwashed into thinking that we deserve to make

wish lists

"Who decided that on Jesus birthday WE should receive gifts to people who are not in need?"

I am not in need

my children are not in need

my family is not in need

my friends are not in need...

We are in want

but not in need.

I have met people in great need this year

some who are homeless

some who are alone

some who really and truly have next to nothing

some who have suffered through deaths...

They are the ones who deserve to make lists...

And when I read THIS this morning

and see the tiny children growing up so...right...

I regret that I have not always felt this way...

that it is only in the last decade of years or so

that my eyes have slowly shifted off my own household

and on to another's.

My children have not always known a mom who thinks to bless outside our home before we bless those inside it. I can only trust that the mom they remember is the one of their teenage years...

I trust they remember me, not as the one who took away their Christmas

but the one who showed them Christmas...

better late than never...

I'm still figuring it all out

how to give beyond what I can

but not feel the burden to do everything all at one time

Who decided that Christmas was the one time of year that we feel all

CHRISTmasy and giving

and the rest of the year we don't?

What do we really need this year?

I know the answer to that for my own family...

and it's not popular

and it seems all Scroogey

but it's not...

It's Jesus

and only Jesus.

This is my journey...not meant to condemn or judge another's

it's putting down thoughts on a page

and letting the words fall as they may..

So that I remember..

so that my children pick up where I left off someday...

Just one...

2011-11-08T11:02:00.000-05:00

The house is quiet and still

I sit in the comfort of my own four walls

and occasionally fill my cup of coffee

or indulge in a second bowl of cereal...

because I can.

I am captivated and mesmerized by the book on my lap

it is breaking me

causing tears to fall with almost every page...

the words, written in fine print, are as if in BOLD

They are challenging me and convicting me

they are words that read as if extracted from my own thoughts...

but they are being lived out by someone else,

while I sit in comfort and read them.

I'm not sure I've ever read a book that has cut me deeper

Day after day, as I find time to read on,

as I underline and trace the words into my heart,

I am humbled...

I am not who I want to be.

I'm reading things like this:

"I am living in the midst of the uncertainty and risk, amid things that can and do bring physical destruction, because I am running from things that can destroy my soul: complacency, comfort, and ignorance. I am much more terrified of living a comfortable life in a self-serving society and failing to follow Jesus than I am of any illness or tragedy."

and this:

"The truth is that if only 8% of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics {of needy, starving children} left. This is the truth. I have the freedom to believe it. The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it. The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know...I am responsible."

and this:

"In so many places, we sit in church and talk about compassion, unimaginable love, revival.

And then an hour later, we are STILL sitting there talking about it..."

And God has this to say to me:

"The smallness you feel comes from within you.

Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way.

I'm speaking as plainly as I can with great affection.

Open up your lives.

Live openly and expansively!"

II Corinthians 6:10

And even though I KNOW...

the answer is not to fly to Africa and leave the ones He's called me to love here and now..

I still ask...

What do you want from me?

I am not to take lightly the fact that the words in this book break me.

Breaking without action = nothing {NO GOOD THING}

As the BOLD letters form words that speak,

He whispers with them...

"choose one today"

He calls me to one

One at a time...here

And it's not a coincidence that just "one" stood in front of me yesterday...

she thanked me

she stood carrying tiny life inside of her...

and she chose it

because one day...weeks ago...

she took a test that said "Positive"

and sat wide-eyed with fear

listening to Jesus

use my mouth

to form words that whispered hope to "one".

I had almost forgotten about her in the crowd of many since...

but she returned,

this time with a smile

and

a hug....

and said

Thank you for helping me save my baby.

I almost cried as she hugged me

because the hug was from Him...

He needed me to know that there's work to be done right where I am

and He's in it

and He's doing it..

It is not enough...

there are many more who need to be the next "one"..

I have hope that a day will come when I return to a place that stole part of my heart..

when what I know HERE will help "one" THERE...

But today,

I'm only given "one"...

I pray I will see her and not pass her by....

{I'm reading this:}

"I knew that I was here just to love...

and the rest I would figure out in time"

iphones and skype dates...

2011-10-19T10:15:00.000-04:00

So, I've been debating about trading my current smart phone in for the iphone3 which is now free at AT&T.

Yesterday, over coffee with a former student, the debate went something like this:

"My phone has issues...sometimes the touch screen responds, sometimes it doesn't.

Maybe I should upgrade and bid it ado."

"But, it does still work, and except for the fracture crack in the corner, it's not a total disaster"

"It's free, so why not?"

"But, I don't NEED a new phone, so I think I should just be content with what I am blessed to have"

"But, the camera on this phone drives me insane and takes such lousy pictures."

{See, I'm not making it up}

My friend, Cate, who always has answers to my technologically challenged questions, agreed that this picture was in fact, messed up. In an attempt to give wise advise and knowledgeable input, she grabbed my phone to see if she could change the camera settings.

"Well, here's you're problem...see all that lint in the camera lens?"

{yeah, yeah...I see it.}

Not one of my finer moments.

All my dreams of being smart and fancy just went out the coffee shop window.

In other news, my dad is in Kenya, and I'm jealous.

He sent this the other day just to rub it in our faces.

So rude.

My parents are learning how to date again during the length of his trip.

They call it their "skype date".

I guess that's cute.

Giveaway HERE..NOW...

2011-10-17T22:52:00.000-04:00

Just so you know...there's an awesome giveaway at my friend's blog.

SO you should go there now...

just cause.

Coffee Cottage

Catch up...

2011-10-17T12:00:00.000-04:00

I can't count the many times I've wanted to sit and update on here, but haven't. There's reasons for this, and I'm just coming to terms with them.

The biggest being that I am strapped to the {antique} home computer.

And this is why...

Did you know that one of these

can completely destroy, blitz, fry your laptop if placed in one of these

{that's a USB port on your computer, if you don't know}

Let's review.

This, in your USB port:

NO...

This,

or this in your USB port:

YES!

You don't even need to have small children in your home to be concerned about such things. You can even have big-boy teenagers in your home and STILL be concerned about such unfortunate accidents happening to your laptop. {The one you spent months saving up for and used all day, every day}

Big-boy teenager is busy saving up to replace said laptop.

It'll be a while at the rate he's saving.

I'm trying not to be bitter...it's just a computer-not a life.

{lifeline, maybe...but that's my own issue}

I've learned a few things on account of this unfortunate incident:

1) Keep all keys in the garage near the vehicles they belong to.

2) Keep in mind that accidents happen and be prepared for them at all times.

3) Show grace, even when your teenagers do things that are nothing short of stupid.

4) Show grace, even when you are sitting in a very hard chair, trying to download pictures onto your antique computer...all the while remembering how quickly they popped up when you were sitting across the room on the comfy couch with your laptop...

5) Bite your tongue and shut your mouth when you are tempted several times a day to remind the 18 year old, who blitzed the laptop, how much you miss it.

6) Never get too used to being spoiled by conveniences...often, right before your very eyes, you see it vanish. Kaput.

It's hard to admit...but, I suppose I've learned that less time on the computer is good, too. Even though I miss checking facebook and emails quickly, downloading pictures and catching up on blogging...I've learned that I CAN do with less of the above...{I admit, I just don't want to} It's a daily struggle to die to my desires. And I have a teenager to thank for it...but, shhh...don't tell him- he would enjoy knowing that his impulsive action caused a positive reaction.

So there you have it. Reason #1 why I spend much less time updating the blog. Since I'm here, and since it took about two hours to download these pictures, I might as well share a glimpse of what we've been up to in the last month...

We entered a Father/Daughter Amazing Race

{came in 2nd place...but only because running wasn't involved}

We took a trip to VA to check out a perspective college w/three of the grandchildren

{Hey, there's that 18 year old...he looks so harmless, doesn't he?}

The grandchildren loved the campus

and the time spent goofing off together...

Attended the wedding of a good friend of mine who's been single for a long time

{There is hope, right?!}

We had another birthday in the family...this time, the daughter had the audacity to turn 15.

Sheesh.

Just the other day..

Homecoming..

It's never really dull or boring around here..

and I wouldn't want it any other way.

From the key in the usb, to the birthdays, to playing dress-up for a night...

it's all good.

Fastest Birthday Breakfast EVer...

2011-09-19T08:17:00.001-04:00

18 years ago today my second child was given to us.

He was the easiest delivery of all

looked like my dad

had a great head of hair

came out talking...

ready to argue his case.

By the time actual words were formed,

he was hoarse...not kidding.

So this morning, in honor of this little devilish imp

who has turned into a young man who is his mother's joy

we ALL{insert shock and awe}

gathered around the table before school

and had a little birthday breakfast

Shortest birthday celebration ever...

6:30 am

Alarm goes off

6:42 am

Supplies are laid out

7:01 am

Zombie arrives from the basement

7:05 am

Sister arrives, needing help with a braid

7:06 am

Birthday Boy emerges from the shower

7:11 am

Birthday boy arrives to the party, not completely awake but fully dressed for school

7:12 am

Following all of our birthday well-wishes, we eat

7:13-7:18 am

We eat and laugh over stories of the impish boy-turned young man

7:19 am

We gather to pray a blessing over the Birthday Boy

7:22 am

We all gather in the garage to see the Birthday Boy and the Sister head off to school.

7:23 am

The zombie retires back down to the basement

7:26 am

Kitchen is cleaned up and another day is well on its' way...

Happy Birthday, Nick...

You are worth celebrating every day of the year!
I love you...

All is grace...

2011-08-30T10:37:00.003-04:00

Today

This moment

This day

this day of waiting for conveniences to return to my home,

having bathed with a box of wipes

washed my hair with a gallon of bottled water

dressed by the light of a lantern

EVEN today

All is Grace...

All Is Grace (With Ann Voskamp)

{Pause music before clicking on link}

still "flex-ing"...

2011-08-29T13:25:00.001-04:00

It's been a while...my keys are a bit cob-webbed. Life has kept us at a pace and sitting and writing some days seems a waste of my time. But, in keeping with the theme of my last post, I figured I'd remind myself that I'm again in the state of being flexible.

We are 36 hours in the wake of Irene and still waiting for our power to come back on. And, if I let myself go there {which I MIGHT have done once or twice} I could really begin to hate Irene and her wrath. Honestly, I KNOW we have minor MINOR damage to contend with. Other than lots of limbs down in the backyard and leaves plastered everywhere, we have pretty much come out unscathed. It could be worse...for sure.

But, I'm shallow enough to think that 36 hours without electricity and water is a big deal. Being inconvenienced just makes me stew. And I know that's not okay.

So I figure that if I write it all out here and get it out of my system, then maybe it'll go away and I'll remember that I'm supposed to be flexible and get a grip.

Today is my kids first day of school.

It's Nick's last first day of High School and Emma's first day of High School.

And, because it's ideal to start the first day of school clean, we slept over at my parent's house last night.

{I almost took it for granted- that's a blessing and something to be thankful for, now, isn't it?}

None of us slept well, which is not the ideal way to start the year off.

{But, we did have beds, and that's something}

There are certain traditions that I wanted to keep up with...and new ones I had hoped to start.

But I'm feeling just kind of "off", you know? Out of my element.

And so the things I'd hoped to start out with this morning just didn't happen.

{Although I happened to overhear my dad take Emma aside and pray over her day,

and that's something that he would not have been able to do if we'd been getting ready in our own house...

so that's something to be thankful for, too.}

After dropping the kids off at school I stopped by the house to see if there's any clean-up happening down the road. The source of the power outage is a huge tree that fell, taking wires down with it. The tree AND the lines are still down. The street is deserted...no bucket truck or flashing lights in sight.

According to the PPL website, none will be seen for at least another day or two...or more:

"We estimate power to most customers in your area will be back on by 5:30 PM on 08/31/2011. This repair estimate is based on the latest information available, and could change if repairs are more difficult than anticipated.

Thank you for your patience."

I'm trying...I'm trying to be patient, really I am.

I'm trying to be flexible and not get grumpy over the fact that things are just not the way I planned for them to be this week. I'm trying to remember that a few states over from us are people who have been WAY more inconvenienced than me.

I'm trying to remember to be grateful for the fact that I'm sitting outside on my parents patio

USING WIRELESS

CLEAN FROM A RECENT SHOWER

WAITING FOR THE DRYER TO RUN ITS CYCLE

ENJOYING A CUP OF COFFEE

And if I have to do it all over again tomorrow

and the next day

{heaven forbid}

then, I can

and I will.

I spent the better part of a week in the
African jungle two summers ago.

No running water {EVER}

No electricity {EVER}

No coffeepot with an on-switch

No bathroom with flush mechanism

No little button for my garage door

No freezer

No sink

No wireless

No computer

No modern convenience of ANY kind...

and it was OKAY.

I WAS OKAY...

{Truth be told, I loved every minute of it}

SO, to myself I will say

SUCK

And find a place of continuous joy

even if it means being flexible

again

This too shall pass...

"Our suffering is light and temporary and is producing for us an eternal glory

that is greater than anything we can imagine."

II Corinthians 4:17

flexibility...

2011-08-15T14:06:00.002-04:00

Summer is waning...

Already the days are getting shorter

About this time every August, I begin to feel like I'm grasping at air...

warring between the desire to be back on a schedule

and the desire to keep everyone nearby

This summer has been different in so many ways

the addition of my job has brought on schedule conflicts that we've never had to deal with before.

And while I LOVE my job

I don't love being on opposite schedules with my kids...

I need a Master Scheduler just to find a few minutes a week where

all of us are in the house at the same time...

It's happened, but not often.

The up sides are obviously a paycheck and being intentional about connecting...

and really, it's all good...just something we're getting used to.

The other day the family had a picnic at the park for my sister's birthday...

my nieces wanted to do something special for their mom,

so they made us all a Birthday picnic lunch...

BEST EVER

We reminisced about how long it had been since we'd picnic'd with our kids there...
used to be what we did often, just to get them out of the house and give them something to do

Picnic fare used to be PB&J with no crust, made by moms

Now it looks more like this:

Grilled chicken wraps and veggie salads

made by Eden...

Also, I'm pretty sure that in the old days

we used to hover around the merry-go-round

when everyone got on...

just making sure no one fell off.

These days, it looks more like this:

{and us watching on, laughing}

Having grown {and growing} kids is a strange phenomenon...

You never know that it's "the last time" for something

until later...

till they haven't done something for a long time

and then you see them do it again...

My nieces and nephews surprised my sister with a sentimental token

priceless with the name of each child...

I think we'll look back on this summer and remember it fondly.

It brought new challenges to adjust to

but it was good to us.

There are about 13 1/2 more days of summer in my house

and I plan to squeeze out as much of it as possible.

It won't always be easy, but we'll have to do what we can...

things like making dinner at 1:50 in the afternoon
because it's the only time we're all in the same place.

All in the name of being flexible

"If you haven't time to respond to a tug at your pants leg, your schedule is too crowded."

Robert Brault

To God Alone...

2011-08-06T11:15:00.000-04:00

I was reading something interesting this morning, and thought I'd process through it here....hoping not to offend anyone, but there are no guarantees.

I'm slowly reading through the book of Genesis, and doing a little "research" along the way on some things I've never really stopped to process through before.

This morning I was reading Genesis 35, the death of Jacob's wife, Rachel,

while giving birth to her second son, Benjamin. Rachel was Jacob's favorite wife.

{He got duped into marrying her sister, Leah, because she was the oldest sister and was unmarried at the time that Jacob THOUGHT he was marrying Rachel. A switch was pulled, and Jacob found himself married to the sister of the woman he loved...creepy. So he worked for 7 more years for Rachel's father in exchange for her hand in marriage. Though he cared for Leah and her children, Rachel was his favorite...

and the mother of his favorite son, Joseph}

So, Rachel dies and Jacob {now called Israel} sets up a pillar over her tomb near Bethlehem. Some say there are 13 stones placed over her tomb-one placed there by each of Jacob's sons.

I've read this before, but this time, this phrase caught my attention:

"...and to this day that pillar marks Rachel's tomb..."

Really? There's a pillar marking her tomb STILL? Or just at the time of the writing of Genesis?

So, I went to Google and started searching for Rachel's tomb.

And, in fact, there are countless entries on Rachel's tomb

"Kever Rochel"

Apparently, this is the 2nd holiest site in Judaism...which I found very interesting...

and honestly, somewhat confusing.

With all the wanderings and miracles of Jesus life and earthly death-

the 2nd holiest place belongs to Rachel?

I did a little virtual tour of Rachel's tomb...

which has since had a whole building built around it.

And I found it interesting that people will travel all over the world to enter the tomb so that they can

pray to Rachel {who is deceased}.

They also receive letters from all over the world from those who cannot travel there.

The prayers are from women who are barren {like Rachel was for years}

They are prayers for healing.

Prayers from the lost and the troubled.

"And no one ever leaves empty-handed. For Emeinu (Our Mother) always gives her blessings."

I mean no disrespect...

I love tradition and symbolism.

But, I wonder if anyone who visits "Kever Rochel" ever thinks about the fact that she is not really there.

I wonder if it would make a difference for them to know that Rachel served God.

And the God she served IS still there.

Rachel is deceased

God is alive.

And yet, the prayers bypass God...

and get "sent" to Rachel.

That troubles me.

And I can't help but wonder how God feels about it.

But, I think I already know...

"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."

Hebrews 4:16

Jesus death gave us complete access to God. Where there once was a veil of tradition and law that separated man from God- at the death of Jesus, we have open access to Him. Any other route to Him is useless. He invited us to come boldly to HIM...because it is HE who holds the power to hear and to answer.

While I GREATLY respect the lives of those who have gone on before me. And desire to take part in the great heritage of women who have followed God...I know that they can no more answer my prayer than the next person. They have gone on. They reside in heaven with God...but they have not become God.

Only God has the power to

hear

see

know

understand

heal

change

I recently visited a Muslim Mosque.

And, like this tomb of Rachel, I found it interesting how committed the followers are to their religion.

They speak of their faith with great excitement and passion.

But, like Rachel's tomb, there was something missing...

It was the One True God,

Father, Spirit, Son...in ONE

the Maker of heaven and earth

the One who WAS

and IS

and forever WILL BE.

I fear how deceived we have become.

I wonder what it will take for us to stop looking to other things, people and places to become our gods...and see GOD.

"Before ME every knee will bow;

by ME every tongue will swear. They will say of ME, ‘In the LORD alone are deliverance and strength.’” All who have raged against Him will come to Him and be put to shame. But all the descendants of Israel will find deliverance in the LORD and will make their boast in Him."

Isaiah 45

"To God alone be Glory"

{Word-less Wednesday} Summer Fare...

2011-07-27T15:39:00.000-04:00

Surviving...

2011-07-26T20:39:00.002-04:00

Summer

This is how we do it...

This past week the heat was almost UNBEARABLE...

Lukewarm pool water got us through...

We've also completed Week One

with our sweet Japanese student, Ren

We're continually surprised to see what is so normal to us

through her eyes...

We're learning a lot about her

and a lot about us...

And it is good.

This weekend we played "tourist" in our own town

we enjoyed seeing her delight over what is to us, almost invisible

like back roads...

and the Amish...

and farms...

and covered bridges...

and farm animals...

we discovered we could stay all day in our own town and spend

nothing but $1 on a water sold by Amish children and a 1/4 tank of gas...

and actually LIKE it...

Summer...

It suits us fine.

"Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world."
Ada Louise Huxtable

{Word-less Wednesday} Universal language....

2011-07-20T08:19:00.001-04:00

Finding common ground...

"Our Similarities bring us to a common ground;
Our differences allow us to be fascinated by each other."
American novelist, 1936Tom Robbins

stretch marks...

2011-07-19T11:26:00.000-04:00

It's not the first time I've had them...

unfortunately, no one warned me when I was pregnant with Alex that

my previously tiny body would forever bear the marks of the strain of all that extra weight.

I've grown used to them and am old enough to know that life is too short to care...{too much}

BUT..

these days I'm enduring a different kind of stretching and straining on my body...

ones that I am sure will also leave lasting marks.

I am expanding beyond my natural ability in so many ways lately.

And it is good

And I am grateful

But stretching means change

and change is sometimes hard and uncomfortable at first.

I am stretching in

my schedule

my flexibility

my relationships

my time

my thoughts

my prayers

my control

{or lack thereof}

I'm not really mourning what "was", so much...

I see the marks, and I'm pretty sure they will always be a reminder of what got me here.

And "here" is probably not really a final destination,

but a stop along the way.

There are many unknowns up ahead...

and if I look too far ahead,

the unknowns are

daunting

and

lonely

But I'm pretty confident that the stretch marks of

today are so that in my tomorrows I can see

the bigger picture of what God was doing.

There's no pride in bearing our stretch marks, either on the outside or the inside...but there is a sense of satisfaction that the results were worth the pulling and expanding.

“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew.

They're what make the instrument stretch-what make you go beyond the norm.”

Cicely Tyson

Favorite moments of the last week:

Blog hopping...

2011-07-07T10:59:00.000-04:00

I'm counting down the days

until two of my kids and I depart on a Mission Trip to

Hamtramack, Michigan.

4 days

that's all...

4 days to

*Finish up my week of work

*Do about 8 1/2 loads of laundry

{with a broken dryer- BONUS!}

*Run Emma to a LAX tourney in Downingtown

{Saturday AND Sunday}

*Write notes ALL OVER THE HOUSE for Alex,

who will be KEEPING IT CLEAN while we are gone

*Pack

It will get done...it will.

But I'm baling out here and hopping over to our team blog

because, a person cannot do it all.

So, until we're back and settled into our Lancaster routine,

I'll be blogging HERE.

Happy Birthday, Mom...

2011-07-04T10:48:00.000-04:00

"Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant

and the rule of law under God is acknowledged."

Ronald Reagan

In our family, we celebrate FREEDOM on July 4th

but we also celebrate MOM.

Today is her birthday...

so, while we celebrate our country's freedom

we also celebrate her life

and remember that without her,

none of THIS:

Happy Birthday, Mom

We love you

and

celebrate YOU today!

"...Her children and her husband
stand up and bless her."

Mere Christianity...

2011-06-28T08:35:00.002-04:00

"Give me all of you!!!

I don’t want so much of your time,

so much of your talents and money,

and so much of your work.

I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!!

I have not come to torment
or frustrate the natural man or woman,

but to KILL IT!

No half measures will do.

I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there;

rather I want the whole tree out!

Hand it over to me, the whole outfit,

all of your desires,

all of your wants and wishes and dreams.

Turn them ALL over to me,

give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---
in MY image.

Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself.

My will, shall become your will.

My heart, shall become your heart."

— C.S. Lewis

(Mere Christianity)

Creatures...

2011-06-26T18:52:00.003-04:00

Remember last Fall when I posted this?

And a few months ago when I posted this

{some of you thought it was a little too much information-but it's nature, right?}

Well, the other day I was sitting outside reading and heard a crash out in the yard.

One of the wild cats had chased a bird into a birdhouse on my shed

and was literally sitting on TOP of the little house.

{Can you see him through the trees?}

she didn't like that I yelled at her...

It's hard to see in this picture, but can you see what's behind her?

That's right...nature has, in fact, taken its' course

because there are two kittens standing in the background, watching.

We never seem to have normal experiences with animals, though...

these kittens are adorable, but destined to be wild and mangy like their parents

{AS I'M TYPING THIS, there is a cat fight happening out in the yard!}

The neighbors have determined that someone dropped the original cat off..

and generations of cats have become wilder and more headstrong than the last.

I'm not really a cat person...

I like them from a distance, so it works for me

as long as one of them doesn't come down with a nasty case of rabies.

Lately, we have quite a few of these critters, thought, too...

This one was walking across the yard the other day...

it's blurry {that's a quarter it's sitting next to}

but it's the HUGEst beatle I've seen since

we discovered this one in Africa...

Kind of makes you not want to walk barefoot in the grass anymore...

The other day Emma went to the fair and came back with this:

She named it Kesh...

This morning Kesh looked like this:

Yes, that's my floor!

We didn't have a fishbowl

{because I know we kill them}

so, she found a suitable bowl for him and left it on the counter.

{next to the pile of papers is a glass bowl where Kesh used to live}

Apparently, fish can jump to their death.

Kesh did.

The only creature that seems to survive around here is this one in that cage back there...

she's a parakeet that we purchased on a whim

{we purchased a mate for her who we found dead in his dish one morning}

She does this fabulous screeching sound when she gets all excited.

It grates on you.

But, she keeps living

and we're not sure how

because we're not exactly the best at keeping animals alive around here.

Don't get me wrong, we love animals...

but we're so stinking bad at keeping them alive.

Only the annoying ones seem to stick around...forever.

I prefer to enjoy other people's animals

and the ones that roam in the yard at a distance.

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful:
The Lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colors,
He made their tiny wings.

He gave us eyes to see them,
And lips that we might tell
How great is God Almighty,
Who has made all things well.

Cecil F. Alexander

In the stillness of the morning...

2011-06-14T10:10:00.000-04:00

I sit here again this morning...

In the stillness

the quiet of a household still in slumber

It is not unlike other mornings I have sat here,

but this morning holds a new chapter ready to unfurl.

It involves change and transition

and lots of unknowns.

It is part anticipation

part mourning

part resolution

and

part awakening.

This morning marks the end of another school year

and the beginning of another summer together.

But it is a different summer already

There are children with jobs

schedules to coordinate

and somewhere in the midst of it all I search to find a time to

connect

and

gather together.

And I recognize that if I don't make it happen

it will not.

So there's this on the door

waiting for everyone to input their

work schedules

and

social schedules

And I think perhaps I may need to schedule family dinners, too.

But one works in the morning,

while the other works in the evening

and the third

who doesn't work at all

has already decided that summer will be horrible

if she doesn't have a social calendar of her own

And then there is me.

My relished quiet time has taken on a shorter life-span

It will require my

getting up earlier

staying on task

and

intentionality

And come next week all of this changes...

And I will need to learn time management

and plan ahead

and flexibility

Because

I finally have a glimmer of an answer to the questions I've asked for so long...

"What do You want from me?"

"What do you want me to do with what You've given me?"

"How do I take what You've placed in me and

use it to help support my family?"

And while I wanted answers

longed deeply for them

the answers involve change

and

change is hard.

But it's a good hard.

I've spent almost two years in a volunteer position

and I've learned things about myself I didn't know were there.

And somehow

at just the right time

there was a need to create a new PAID position

that has been handed to me.

And because God's hand is all over it,

I know the time is right

and it is good.

And I am humbled by

His kindness

His timing

and

His continued provision

It will take time to adjust around here

and we will have to pull together

to remain together

But the One who orchestrated it

will surely keep it together...

of this I am sure.

And so, this morning, in the stillness

I am ever aware of His continued goodness to my children and I.

And I anticipate how He will use me here

as well as there

The title I wear HERE remains first and foremost...

it is constant

and priority.

But there's a new title,

"Client Advocate"

and because I see it as a gift given,

I am grateful

and

humbled

and excited to see it all unfold...

There are young mothers to love on

babies to help save

LIFE to affirm...

And who doesn't like that their NEW JOB is really their OLD JOB, but with a paycheck...

And, that their first day of work isn't really their first day of work

and no butterflies are involved...

It is good...

"Open your mouth and taste,

open your eyes and see—
how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him."

Psalm 34:8-10

In this morning stillness

my thoughts run far

and my need to be intentional is firm

it will take the whole family to make it work well...

but I think we are all up to the challenge.

"There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart..."

Celia Thaxter

This happened....

2011-06-07T19:28:00.000-04:00

Last week she was drinking from a sippy cup

and just the other day

she decided she was old enough

to get all dressed up for a school social..

She decided she was old enough

to borrow these from her cousin...

She decided she was old enough

to have someone else do her hair and makeup

And I decided that time with her is short...

She is growing up.

In about 25 years,

when I think about letting her loose to date,

this will be posted across the door frame of my house:

"He that would the daughter win,

must with the mother first begin."

~English Proverb

"If you want your children to improve,

let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."

~Haim Ginott

Emma..

If you're reading this, I hope you hear me...

YOU

are a beautiful reflection of God Himself.

He planned it that way.

He placed in you everything you would need for

LIFE

and

GODLINESS

and then He said that everything you need

HE will be.

Beauty

comes from Him

We can't force it

can't slip it on

can't paint it on

It happens

when day upon day

we focus on Him.

What HE has given you as a gift on the outside

He is cultivating on the inside...

Let Him.

“Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon you.”

and

IN you....

You are beautiful...

You are sacred...

A planting of the LORD

FOR THE DISPLAY OF HIS SPLENDOR...

display Him well...

I love you.

2011-06-06T12:35:00.000-04:00

I stopped here the other day while I was walking...

this patch of roadside weeds caught my attention
Ever thought about how many variations of weeds there are?

In this one square foot of weeds there are handfuls of variety.

Weeds are such a nuisance to me that, had I created them,
I would have made them all the same
cursed them as WEEDS
and been done.
I wouldn't have put much thought into them.
But God did.
They're all uniquely different
because for some reason, this mattered to Him.

and isn't that just it?
Creation MATTERS to Him

It may have only taken 6 days to create
but in those some 144 hours
millions of detailed organisms were created.
And each and every one of them must have been important
He must have wanted us to notice them...
otherwise, why bother?

"Nature is school-mistress, the soul the pupil; and whatever one has taught or the other has
learned has come from God – the Teacher of the teacher."
De Testimonio Animae

Maybe weeds didn't come along until after Adam and Eve sinned..
maybe they were just a result of the fall.
But even if this is the case,
a lesser-god would have deemed them all the same and moved on.

I can only assume that there's a reason each leaf and stem is different...
and that it has something to do with God wanting us to know that
even the little things matter to Him.

I'm reading through the book of Genesis,

finding new perspective from old Words

marveling at the wonder of

life

death

creation

order

Sometimes it becomes too familiar to us

The details blur

and God's creativity is lost

His attention to the most minute of details is forgotten

and unappreciated.

He's reminding me that the Words on the pages of His Word
are encounters that
real people had with a real God
they are a picture of
who He was
and who He IS
they tell me about
ME

I'm not all that different from Eve....
She too walked with the Sacred
saw His creation all around her
became discontent
wanted more
she, too, had all that her heart needed
and
forgot

"We worship the one God who fashioned the whole fabric
with the instrument of elements,
bodies, spirits, and by His Word commanded it,
by the reason with which He ordered it...
whence it came about that the Greeks also
give the universe the name of "kosmos."
Invisible though He is,
He is seen.
Incomprehensible though He is,
He is by grace revealed.
Apologius XVII

Memorial Day freedom...

2011-05-30T18:33:00.000-04:00

I'm not a lover of war

but I am a lover of freedom

and sometimes you can't have one without the other

"I have never advocated war except as a means of peace."

Ulysses S. Grant

{Plaque beside my grandfather's grave..}

I don't wish for any American to have to take up arms to defend my freedom

but I am beyond grateful that so many have willingly done so.

To those

past

present

future

who carry arms for me and my family..

THANK YOU

All we have of freedom, all we use or know -
This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.
~Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue, 1899

Fighting Joy

2011-05-29T21:17:00.005-04:00

I preach it

I try to choose it

but there are days I just fight to feel it.

JOY

On one hand I KNOW that I have no right not to choose it

just one look around me...

one really long, good look

and I KNOW I have no other choice

but to sing thanks deeply

and find JOY.

But since this is my space

I'm deeming it a safe place
to just

be honest...

Today I'm just throwing it out there

that it is hard

I'm sitting on my back porch

alone

I love it back here,

it's quiet

except for the song of the birds

and the flow of the creek.

It's my favorite place to sit

and be still

But some days...like today...

I'm tired of sitting here alone.

All three of my kids are otherwise occupied with jobs or friends tonight

{don't get me wrong I encourage it,
it's what they should to be doing}

But every once in a while the alone time is TOO much alone

And in those times the enemy finds a way to remind me that the time is coming soon...

they will all be gone

and I'll be alone every day.

It is what we raise our children to do...

to find their wings

and use them to start new things.

It is GOOD

It's the way it's supposed to be.

But we weren't meant to raise children alone

and then be alone again when their voices no longer echo in the halls.

We parent forever...

we're never really done,

but I can see the years that they need me daily, drawing to a close,

in weak moments I look to what that means for me..

and I don't like what I find.

I fight the thought that while my friends will be enjoying their empty nests with their husbands,

mine will be spent in an empty house...

I try not to even let the thoughts be completed in my head,

but they are there

and they are real.

And I dig deep to remember

that this is not the way to choose JOY

all the wishing

and hoping

and wanting

and the forgetting what is right in front of me still.

Some days it's hard to turn off the direction of my thoughts

to rally

and

pull up the boot straps-

because that's what I've learned to do.

Some days I just want to wonder...

to feel the pain

and just wonder.

It doesn't accomplish anything

but it reminds me I'm human.

And that I'm in need of words from the Only One who really understands

"For God is greater than our worried hearts

and knows more about us than we do ourselves."

I John 3:20

I know well that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.

I know that it, too, is a choice I must make...

Amidst all of these things that are a constant,

pushed ~~way back~~ in the back of my head

I know that somehow even this is good.

God deems it so

"We are assured and know that all things work together and are

[fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God

and are called according to [His] design and purpose."

Romans 8:28

and so I rally

and regroup

and train my thoughts on things that are of better use.

I am not asked to borrow worry from my tomorrows,

but to live out thankfulness in my todays

I find rest in knowing

HE knows

HE cares

HE understands

and

He can handle my

"why's" and "what if's"

for today

that is enough

"I call to God; God will help me.

At dusk, dawn, and noon I sigh deep sighs—

He hears, He rescues.

My life is well and whole...God hears it all."

Psalm 55:16

Flowers and funerals...

2011-05-27T09:02:00.002-04:00

Things are blooming over here...

Growing up in this house we didn't have as many flower beds...

{I do remember having to weed the few we had

and I'm sure I complained the whole time}

But, maybe it was when my sister and I left to start our own families

that mom decided she needed a project

grass became mulch

and

a few plants became many.

And as a result,

last week I cut bunches of these

and this week,

bunches of these

I wish you could see how HUGE some of these peony blooms are

they don't have much of a scent

but I do enjoy seeing them scattered all over the house.

"God loved the flowers and invented soil. Man loved the flowers and invented vases."

Jacques Deval

It appears as though next week these will be gracing the house...

"I'd rather have roses on my table

than diamonds on my neck."

Emma Goldman

They're really beautiful..and I can take no credit whatsoever for them.

I often say that all the good stuff you see around here was inherited.

{Thanks, mom!}

It strikes me how like our own lives these flowers are.

Beautiful

and

Fragile

and

short-lived

Even the most prolific gardener cannot create a crop that holds life and blooms on forever.

Though they are appreciated and enjoyed,

all blooms fade and die eventually.

On Wednesday I attended my FOURTH funeral in the last four months.

Two of them in one week.

All four were great women of faith who left quite a legacy for their families and friends.

I've had enough death for the year.

I'd like it very much if I didn't attend another funeral ever..

or at least for a long time.

But, there is something about sitting at a funeral that makes you put life into perspective.

It is so short, so unexpected.

And we waste so much time thinking that this is all there is.

But what if it's not...

what if we labor hard

and stress out much

what if we spend our life seeking the next

treasure

pleasure

and, in an instant we are suddenly gone

and all that we poured our energy into

stays behind.

What then?

What if the world expends energy on trying to disprove the existence of

God

and

Heaven

and succeeds in taking all mention of them out of our lives...

and it is wrong - all of it just a trick to get our minds off of what is True.

What then?

Will we regret the things we gave our

time

attention

money

worship

praise

hearts

and wish we had listened to the Voice of Truth instead?

Sadly, it'll be too late to change our minds

we will have already chosen our path.

I've already made my choice

and I'm quite confident it is the Right One.

But so many around me have not...

and how I live my life from birth to death may affect the way they see the Right One.

The end comes for all of us

sometimes we have the blessing of planning it all out

and sometimes we don't.

But, the one thing we all have in common

is that it WILL come.

So how will we spend our days of waiting?

What will we do with our remaining time?

Reality check

2011-05-17T23:09:00.000-04:00

I sat next to my sister tonight at the third funeral we've attended in less than six months. I'm not a fan of them...but all three of them were beautiful women who left behind the aroma of Christ in their wake.

And each one left a deep impression on me.

When you sit through someone else's life celebration you cannot help but wonder what words your own life speaks...and if they are words that will matter when you are tucked away in a beautiful box.

Funerals are a good reality check.

No matter how hard you work

or what riches you accumulate

No matter what you've spent your life doing

or how well you did it...

We all eventually must leave this temporary world

and every one of us leaves it the same way

empty-handed

All we have leftover

are the lives that we touched

and the legacy that we left.

Someone else gets all the stuff.

"In the same way let your light shine in front of people.

Then they will see the good that you do and praise your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:16

Janet...

2011-05-14T11:21:00.001-04:00

I've neglected writing this week.

I've spent the week

getting a farmer's tan,

catching up with a few friends,

driving the kids here, there

...and back again

And a host of other things that seem unimportant,

but really are just a part of this life I call

normal

Whilst I carry on with my "normal" routine

and one day turns into the next

my thoughts drift often to a beautiful woman I know

who is fighting a hard battle with cancer.

Inevitably,

my thoughts turn to questions

and I try to wrap my head around

God's ways.

It makes no human sense that someone with a heart so lovely should suffer so deeply.

It makes no sense that the man who calls her "Sweetie" should stand helplessly by

as his life shifts off kilter.

A mother and father watch the child they gave life,

fight for her next breath.

The ones who call her "Sister",

who made mud pies and caught fireflies with her

now stand by unable to do anything

but watch.

Countless children whom she taught and shared Jesus with

look on with eyes wide with wonder.

What is going on in the mind of a God who is a Father,

who watches on while His child suffers?

How does He bear it,

what makes Him hold back His hand of restoration?

How could THIS be good

and purposeful

and all a part of His plan?

****************************

I wrote this last night and just couldn't really finish my thoughts...

today I have a new perspective...

this morning I woke to find this woman has found her healing.

"We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on

our heavenly bodies like new clothing."

II Corinthians 5:2

She has a new ancient home...

It's the home that was created for her before she was born.

It is the place she lived her life longing for.

She was welcomed there this morning in what I can only imagine

was quite a grand affair.

I'm picturing some other dear women she knew who have traveled there just this year.

I imagine they were waiting to see her

to catch up and show her around...

But I wonder if she even noticed them

for the glorious Light of the One she's lived her whole life praising

must have captured her attention first.

My mind's eye sees her bowing and singing

getting all choked up with words...

Her healing has come at last...

and her body is whole.

She is spending her first day in heaven...

reveling in its' beauty

and

the majestic presence of her Saviour.

We grieve for us,

for her family

but

a second glance makes us sit up and take notice

that she is where she belongs...

and she finally knows the fulfillment of her life's longing.

I see her greeted with a warm hug,

an intimate walk,

questions to ask

and answers to finally be revealed.

She sees the big picture that we are too finite to see...

She hears angelic singing

and

walks with Jesus.

Back here,

in her old home

we cannot fathom the outcome.

It's a mystery

And I'll be honest and say I don't like it.

And, so, as I've done many times in my life...

I am forced to go back to what I know to be Truth.

"I don't think the way you think.
   The way you work isn't the way I work.
         God's Decree.
For as the sky soars high above earth,
   so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
   and the way I think is beyond the way you think."

Isaiah 55

I hurt for her family

and grieve with the little people who loved her much

But would I deny her the

healing

beauty

perfection

Glory

new body

face to face reunion

Joy

How could I?

She has found her home

and she shares it with the

Ancient of Days

Alpha and Omega

Jehovah

Yahweh

Creator

Abba

Almighty

The Glorious One

who could deny her that?

"For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it...."

II Corinthians 5

Welcome home, Janet...

Why not?

2011-05-05T09:15:00.000-04:00

I promised myself last August that I was done with it forever.

That I would no longer be a host to such madness

and only visit other people's madness.

I'm here to say I am eating my words.

THIS is happening tomorrow...

The only twist this year is that it will NOT be at my house.

My friend Janelle at Three Men and Their Ladies is having a HUGE yard sale with over 15 women.

She's done it before and she literally STOPS TRAFFIC in the small town of Strasburg.

When she asked if I wanted to join her, my immediate response was "NO!",

but a few weeks later I changed my mind because;

I looked in my garage and realized that our two economy sized cars barely have room to breathe in there, due to boxes of merchandise left over from Lulu & Tutz.
My kids and I are doing an in-country missions trip this summer and the down payment is due now.
If I do it now, I won't EVER have to do it again...right?

I've adjusted my attitude from dread to resignation.

And, next week, when the shelves in my garage are completely organized

and our first down payment on the trip is paid

I might even say I am glad I did it.

The weather is supposed to cooperate for us,

so come check us out here:

128 Lancaster Avenue

Strasburg

Friday 4-7pm

Saturday 7-2pm

You may even find something for your Mother...

Who, by the way, deserves a little extra attention this weekend because if she's anything like mine,

She's bailed you out a time or two.

Happy Mother's Day, mom!

God is still God...

2011-05-02T12:25:00.000-04:00

even when things make absolutely no sense.

Our world is constantly changing.

Wars rage on

Tornadoes destroy

Hurricanes and Tsunamis take captives

Promises are broken

Questions go unanswered

Cancers steal

Accidents break things

Bodies fail

Leaders fall

Evil rises

nothing really stays in one place.

I went to bed just as the murmurings of the news started

Bin Ladin has been found and killed.
I awoke to more of the same news
and to parades, parties and celebrations.

But I can't help but wonder what has really changed?
Vindication might feel good
but it might also start a host of new wars
One man did not make our world unsafe
he did not act alone
People are still dead,
families still mourning their losses.
We are far from having world peace just because an evil man has been eliminated.

"And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don't panic.
Yes, these things must take place, but the end won't follow immediately."
Mark 13:7

God is still God
He knew we'd be tempted to trust ourselves to take matters into our own hands.
And He knew we'd never really eliminate the threat of war and uncertainty.
He knew that while some are out celebrating,
others would be home fighting other wars-
fighting cancer
fighting poverty
fighting aftermath of raging storms

I'm thankful that God is still God
because I have my own questions
things I just don't understand
questions my children ask
that I cannot answer
but to say
God is God
and HE understands.

He sees what we don't
He plans ahead and walks us through the unknown
He only gives us one tiny peek at a time-
He knows we can't handle the whole picture at once.

Questions aside,
GOD is still GOD
and that is enough for me today.

I continue to add up His blessings,
even amidst the unknown.
He is still God
still faithful
still present
still lovely

His eye still stays on ME
{on YOU}
all the while it is staying on the events of the world

THAT
is amazing

THAT
is why I know Peace

God is still God
and all is right
even when it feels wrong

God is still God
when good people hurt
when life is unfair
when the next breath is too hard to take

He still IS...

"God is in the sadness and the laughter, in the bitter and the sweet.

There is a Divine purpose behind everything — and therefore a Divine presence in everything."

Neale Donald Walsch

{Be still, and know that I am {still} God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.}

Psalm 46:10

On my mind...

2011-04-28T23:33:00.000-04:00

There are a few things on my mind.

Don't hold your breath, they are not important really...

Just on my mind.

Remember this...when somehow stink bugs and princesses made it onto the same post?
I have nothing to defend myself with..it just happens-

random thoughts

that have no real connection whatsoever to each other,

yet still end up sharing a post.

I think it might be happening again

The whole world seems to be perched on the edge of their seats

in anticipation of another Royal Wedding

These two

have caught the eye of nearly everyone who owns a

computer or a radio.

And starting at some ungodly hour in the morning there will be live coverage

detailing pretty much every breath that anyone with royal blood will be taking tomorrow.

And SHE

informed me about an hour ago that she wants me to wake her up at 5am to watch it happen.

Had I known this, I would have shipped her to

my sister's house for the night,

being that her internal clock rises her at 5am {or before} EVERY morning

{not just Royal mornings}

But my mind doesn't work that quickly so she's down the hall as I type

in her own bed.

Which means yours truly will be setting her alarm

and watching next to her.

And really, I can't complain...when I was not much younger than her my grandmother had a

Royal sleepover so we could rise early to watch with her....

Which was MY mom's plan, too...

a slumber party with just the girls was planned at her house

a tradition, of sorts that it's only fair to carry on...

except,

who gets married at the CRACK of dawn on a school day???

Really, Kate?

Did you not know there would be girls of all ages in PA that would want to watch you wed your Prince?

You didn't think it would be an excused absence, did you?

It's not.

By the way, did you know that

every single minute of the day is scheduled and posted online?

So, say, you want to know what time would be a good time to leave the tv to make a pot of coffee..

all you need to do is look at the schedule and see that at precisely

"10:27 am Carol and James will arrive at the Abbey"

which, translated means

"I have no idea who Carol and James are and so NOW would be a good time to brew the beans"

The Royals are very accommodating in this way.

Thanks Will and Kate, I may need those beans to make it through the rest of the day.

Also, did you know that Will has opted out of wearing a wedding band?

Strange, but true.

It says so here

and E Online has probably moved in across the street from the Palace

and has the inside scoop on such things.

Thanks E.

This morning I found out that I am just like my mom.

I love her, so I'm cool with it,

but we might both have issues.

I inadvertently left my phone in the other room for about an hour

and apparently missed ~~her call~~ several of her calls

She was watching the news

I was not.

She called to tell me in a very panicked voice that I should run for shelter in my basement

NOW

because a tornado was passing over my house.

But, truth be told, I was on my way out the door to meet a friend for coffee

and that didn't gel with my plan.

But because I am a pleaser,

I ran to the basement to turn on the tv,

in time to hear them

{the VERY excited-emotionally-charged-meteorologists-who-live-for-this-kind-of-thing}

say they are lifting the warning.

Sweet...coffee it is

For the next hour,

even though my phone was turned to silent,

I continued to get updates on the two other impending tornadoes that were about to crash through my house

from my mom...

{remember, when you're reading this, mom, I really do love you!}

I literally LAUGHED OUT LOUD at the absurdity of how similar this scene was to the texts my own son received from me just a few weeks ago when I was the one at home watching the

BREAKING NEWS SPECIAL REPORT

He was the one out having coffee with a friend

and I was the one with the panicky voice telling him to take cover.

Two thoughts on this:

1. No matter what you say, you will always be just like your mom

2. You never really stop being an ~~over-reactive~~ concerned parent

Also,

this weekend is Prom

is going with a friend

and I find it just too weird that son#2 could possibly be old enough to

drive to the florist to order a corsage

for goodness sake,

just last year he was cutting his first tooth

If I had the power to make

time

stand

still

GASP!
I just looked at the clock...

it's 11:23pm and I have not had my Royal sleep yet..

this does not sound like a recipe for a good Friday.

The real GOOD Friday was last week...

tomorrow will just have to be named good.

{Aidan Caine captured the couple for me to score on google images}

"William and Kate, have set the date,
They’ve chosen, as the day they will marry;
April 29, for the second in line
To the throne,

(just in front of Harry )."

lovely words from the pen of one Jim Bell

{Word-less Wednesday} Prom dress season...

2011-04-27T22:46:00.000-04:00

{starburst}

{toilet paper}

{coffee filters}

{duct tape}

{m&m}

{phonebook}

{diapers}

{Word-less Wednesday} All in one place...

2011-04-20T08:05:00.000-04:00

Restlessness...

2011-04-19T14:57:00.001-04:00

I often find myself feeling restless at heart.

It's not something I can define,

it's more of a feeling

a need to discover MORE.

I know enough to realize this is God

He is stretching me

and

breaking chunks of me

bit by bit.

He's not drawing me to be emotional or make hasty decisions

but He is asking me to NOTICE.

So I open my eyes to see what He is doing,

where He is making a difference.

Along the way I find Katie,

and she is challenging me

tugging at something in my heart.

Causing me to look closer at the things that He's put in me.

I am amazed by this 20 year old young woman.

She is brave and courageous

and she is following Jesus.

Her posts often make me cry

and they always make me think...

Let me introduce this young woman

if you are like me,

you will start reading

and find it hard to stop.

This is Katie,

you can start her story here.

{But you've already been warned...you may end up reading the whole entire blog, which started in 2007!}

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means

caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."

James 1:27