"I hold on to You for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post..." Psalm 63

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Trying to see...

Inevitably, it happens to almost all of us
and it happened to me, too...
the words on a page used to be so easy to see
and now suddenly, not.
I am not sure how one can have 20/20 vision and still need these...

but, it happens...
And it's funny how a little reading glass with a 1.0 prescription can make a difference
Who knew?  
I fought it for months, 
feigning perfect vision

Now, 
when I read or stare at the screen
the words are brighter and I see more clearly...


 Because of the pace of life right now
I'm trying to see other things more clearly, too.
You'd think with less kids in the house there'd be more time 
but with more working hours
and a full sports schedule
and just day to day life-
it seems like there's never enough hours in the day to just 
SEE

Every morning, on the way home from the school drop-off,
I pass this field
And because it's wide open and over my left shoulder
I cannot help but be reminded that
 as the sun rises again
I have a new chance to breathe in all that a day holds
with eyes that really see what is around me

Before a day is spent behind closed doors 
in an office with no windows
there is this sunrise...
this slowing down panoramic picture
that reminds me that I am still one of the little people
in a great big world
and I need to remember my place..
and slow down my pace
and see His Almighty hand 
right there
in front of me.

In the harried busyness is where I lose myself...
I am found
HE is found 
in the slow, open-eyed gaze 
of a life that stops to notice.

It doesn't come naturally to me in this schedule that I am still trying to get used to...
I see only when I slow to listen..
He beckons,
but so often I miss Him..
so busy just trying to keep things steady.
Trying to do it alone and well..

Trying to parent well,
work well,
keep a home well,
encourage well...

"Only in the slowing, the sitting down at the table, when His hands held the bread and the thanks fell from His tongue, do the open-eyed, the wide-eyed, see the Face they face {Luke 24:13-36} The FAST have spiritually SLOW hearts...and I don't reach forward and I don't reach back and I weigh the moment down with full attention here...I want to slow down and taste life, give thanks, and see God..." Ann Voskamp




Tuesday, November 13, 2012

All things {NEW}...

I was pretty excited to see the rain this morning.  
Thought it would be pretty great to spend my day off  burrowed inside, 
wrapped up in a warm blanket with coffee and a good book...
Until I remembered that today's the day that my house gets invaded by a bunch of stranger-men.

I dream of the day some man walks in my house and asks if he can stay...
but these are not THAT kind of man.  
These are here to blow insulation into my attic, 
which I am finding out is a huge production and apparently with all the extra work they have found, 
could take a couple of DAYS...
which can only mean that I will have to share ANOTHER day off with these fine gentlemen.

{Insert grateful, yet disappointed attitude, here.}

So, since I can't use either bathroom or walk down any hallway without bumping into a stranger,
I'm holding myself hostage in the back room with my computer and my favorite warm blanket.
There's only so much I can do back here, but since sitting at my computer makes me look busy, 
I'll do this.

I think it's time to give the blog a makeover...it looks too cheery and cutesy.
So I thought I would change it up and give it a cleaner look...
except the link to change the background has completely disappeared and 
I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get rid of what you are presently looking at.
And while trying to figure that out, I somehow messed up the title font and that can't seem to
change back either.  
So I'm 0 for 2.

I'll try something else.

I've been doing a lot of reminiscing lately.  
I'm working on a project with a group of ladies that has me doing a lot of thinking about my past.
I don't like to think about the ugly details, so I don't very often,
but the reality of over a decade of singleness can't be ignored...
it is just part of my life story.

And while I don't like to dwell on what caused my single life, 
ignoring it can cause me to forget God's faithfulness throughout the 
journey of pain, rejection and healing...
So I've been remembering the good stuff that came out of the pain
and sometimes remembering is good
and soul-feeding.  
{When life as we knew it changed}
{Today}

Sometimes it is what you need so that you can remember that 
you never want to go back
to the way things were before.

But not wanting to go back doesn't mean that you don't long for some of the same.
I long for some of the same..
but in a more healthy, LIFE-producing way.
Something Sacred that includes 
commitment 
and honor 
and promises kept.

And I won't settle for less 
or compromise because I'm tired of doing life alone.

Reminiscing always brings me back to these same thoughts..
and if I dwell on them too long
it's not good for me.

But if I stay just long enough, it keeps me on track and 
reminds me that God is still in the business of creating 
all things new
and I'm good with that because I could use 
a little something new some days.

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