A week at the beach...
Tommorrow I take the annual "First Day of School" pics...but there will only be two. Missing that third one...but SO pleased with where he is, what he's doing, and the friends he's making.
A week at the beach...
I found this picture on a great blog...you can find it here:
It was a short visit with Alex, but it was intended to be that way...didn't want to break up the rhythm of his independance so soon in the semester! Since I had borrowed my parent's GPS for the trip to school, I thought we'd take a side trip here since it was right off the highway...
My most favorite memory is one I can't really capture in a picture. I wished so much I had a video camera rolling, but this snapshot was taken at the end of the night when we were saying our goodbyes...the exact same time I heard Alex whisper in his brother's ear,
Hey, take care of mom and Em, ok? Do you hear me?
I love you
A moment forever embedded into my memory.
About that time I decided not to hold back any longer and the tears came. It was a sweet moment with alot of hugs and "I love you's"...and then we were gone. The ride home was quiet...Nick and Emma gave me the time to drive and curl up into my own thoughts for a while. Coming home was weird. It's not like Alex has spent a whole lot of time here this summer...it's been a few months of freedom and fun for him. But driving in the driveway, just the three of us, my heart actually ached. Our family dynamic is different. One of us is missing. It's still good...just different. It'll take a while...like for instance, when I got that ache again tonight when I pulled out three dinner plates, not four....it's going to take some getting used to, this college-thing.
Fortunately for me, there was no time this morning for feeling sorry for myself. After very little sleep I was up early to prepare for a big SALE at Lulu & Tutz. Today and tomorrow we're having a 50% off SALE to prepare for our move next week. The timing is less than desirable, but it kept my mind occupied today, and I suppose will do the same tomorrow. Next week we pack the whole place up in boxes...to store until a plan has been made for the future of the shop. And the next week school starts for the other two. It's a busy few weeks, but I think it's all good.
And it really IS all good. Even the ache of the heart and the leaky tears. I have a new perspective today. I looked at my other two kids who are still in my house, and realized in 3 and 6 years I'll be doing this again...and those years are going to fly by just like Alex's did. I think I'll look at the time we have together differently...through new eyes. It is SO fleeting. So short...too short not to intentionally think about it. They need me NOW....but won't in just a few short years. Time is precious, a lessoned I think I really JUST learned.
More on those thoughts later, and how they pertain to what on earth I will do with the shop or whatever else I end up doing to generate some income into our household. Each lesson heaps on top of the last one...I feel I may need a fair share of quiet time in order to sort through how the combination of them all will affect my future decisions.
I'm in a very LONG waiting room, but it's not really a quiet room...there are voices everywhere trying to sway me to their side! It's just overload today to think about them...enough already, give a mom some peace! They'll still be there tomorrow and the next day when I can relax enough to listen in. (*DISCLAIMER read this* not ACTUAL voices in my head, ok? Just lots of advice- solicited and unsolicited...just wanted to be clear.)
Off to chill with the kids...till next time...
We've had so many of these celebration dinners together that they all begin to blur together, but we marveled last night how quickly these older two have grown up. Just two more days of packing til Alex leaves us...and another week until Eden departs. Where has the time gone?!?
I almost forgot that while I love kittens, I'm not such a fan of cats...and mostly for the above reason. They like to take charge and tell you how it's going to be!
I think we're in for an interesting week. I've pushed off the emotions that will inevitably take hold of me on Thursday as we drive Alex away from home, but only because I just HAVE to! Can't boo-hoo my way through the week...I'm sure I'll do my fair share in the dorm room Thursday evening before we drive away to leave him at school. For tonight, I'm planning on sleeping well. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
Tomorrow's a new day...thankfully God gives grace and strength for each new day and for whatever He calls upon us to do.
I think I'm ready...
Tammi Lynne Cook
August 11, 1966
The motherhood years have been some of the hardest, but she's raising some pretty great kids....some of my favorite in the world!
These little women are watching her. They're observing what it means to follow after God with all their heart. They're watching what it means to meet a challenge and humbly face it. They're seeing that even when it hurts, life goes on. And I pray each of these girls (and the three boys too!) will one day reflect on a mother who gave her all so that they would see Jesus in their home each day.